On January 11th, executive coach Peggy Klaus wrote an article for the New York Times called “A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting.” In it, she examined how women treat one another at work, and stressed the importance of “learning to value one another so we can all get ahead.” She referred to this issue as the “pink elephant lurking in the room.”
The room she was specifying was the office, but I couldn’t help being struck by how relevant the observation was to the Feminist movement.
As we gear up for the Fem2.0 Conference in Washington D.C. – and strive to develop an inclusive outreach – it is important to pay attention to the goal of widening the tent.
The future strength of women’s advocacy lies in the ability to be more tolerant of different points of view. Fissures in sisterly solidarity were much in evidence during the Democratic primary, when Clinton and Obama supporters took sides, pointed fingers, and matters veered off into a very unpleasant zone.
We’re not all going to agree. So it would be best if we could “agree to disagree” in a fashion that isn’t toxic.
There are more than enough ways to demarcate ourselves. Feminist, no-label feminist, waves, decades, straight or gay (or other), woman of color, white woman. I may have left something out.
When we meet up on February 2nd, we will not all be in the same place ideologically. Hopefully we can be in the same space sharing our points of view, with an openness and sensitivity to those around us.
If nothing else, it’s a good place to start.
Amen, Marcia. And at the end of it all, it’s about women’s lives, and the lives of our families. We NEED to agree to disagree in a way to doesn’t hamper our ability to unite and work together, because on the issues and policies that most directly effect us – from healthcare to education to economic security to pay equity – we really pretty much agree. If we could get past our differences to line up behind those issues and policies, how powerful would that be? And how quickly would change come? And in these times, we really need that change!
I’m with you. Maybe the whole day should begin with a brief talk about empathy and how to meet people where they are. A friendly reminder that we are all there for many of the same reasons, it just comes in different colors… Like a mini “Oprah session” on active listening. It may only take 5 minutes but would help those of us who are not used to discussing sensitive topic matter get a lot more out of the day.
I agree with you Marcia. This is right on point. Liz Scherer posted the same thing a three weeks ago and she nailed it eloquently as well (http://tinyurl.com/ccxvve). These issues need to be explored in depth as we define how women treat each other in the work place and how we learn “to value one another so we can ALL get ahead.” Looking forward to Fem 2.0!