We are mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, grand daughters and friends. We are the ones caring for our loved ones with chronic ailments, disabilities and the frailties of old age. The question is … do we recognize who we are?  Generally the answer is a resounding NO. We see ourselves as loving mothers, devoted wives, responsible daughters caring for those who need help or can not care for themselves alone.

It is time to face the reality that, yes, you may be a caring daughter, but you are also a family caregiver, which is a special job.  And you need to see it as the job that it is!  Family caregivers today provide over $375 billion in “free” caregiving services every year and more than 80 percent of all long term care in the country. There are more than 50 million family caregivers in the United States and the majority of us are women.

According to a study by the National Family Caregivers Association, over 90 percent of family caregivers become more proactive about seeking resources and skills they need to assist their care recipient after they have self-identified themselves as family caregivers. And 83 percent of self-identified family caregivers believe their self awareness led to increased confidence when talking to healthcare professionals about their loved one’s care.

The reason is that once you accept the fact that you are a family caregiver – in addition to being the loving, caring mother/daughter/wife you will begin to understand that it is a job.  And you will be suddenly empowered to seek out the information, resources and support you require and deserve to do your job to the best of your ability.

We also need to understand that family caregiving does not have to be as hard as it is. To make your live more manageable the National Family Caregivers Association reminds everyone to:

1.    Believe in Yourself – You CAN do this
2.    Protect your health – If you don’t, who will be there to care for your loved one
3.    Reach out for help – Asking for help is a sign of strength that you understand this is not a one person job
4.    Speak UP – For yourself, your loved one and all family caregivers

As family caregivers, we share a sense of isolation, a belief that "I am the only one thinking and feeling this way.” However, the sad reality is millions of women are thrust into the role of family caregivers and many think and feel exactly the same way that you do.  Read stories from other women caring for their loved ones here.
 

Deborah Halpern is communications director for the National Family Caregivers Association.

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