Comments on: Unless You Have Lived This Life You Can’t Possibly Understand http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/07/08/unless-you-have-lived-this-life-you-cant-possibly-understand/ society’s issues + women’s voices Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:40:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Melanie http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/07/08/unless-you-have-lived-this-life-you-cant-possibly-understand/#comment-6499 Melanie Thu, 14 Jan 2010 04:39:03 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1132#comment-6499 Teresa, I do not understand what you are going through and could not even imagine. But I do understand your statement that unless you have lived this life you could not possibly understand. I have tried to relate who I am to others and find that no one has been in my shoes nor will they ever be. They nod and act as if they understand but because they have not lived my life and felt what I have felt then how could they? I can not even relate my life to others but somehow find myself able to relate to theirs which has made me a great friend and has enabled me to find my path in life. Not everyone can relate to everything in "my" life but there are sometimes people in this world that have felt some things I have felt or gone through and that is where I found support and understanding. I will pray for you and your wonderful miracle of a son. Have faith! Teresa,
I do not understand what you are going through and could not even imagine. But I do understand your statement that unless you have lived this life you could not possibly understand. I have tried to relate who I am to others and find that no one has been in my shoes nor will they ever be. They nod and act as if they understand but because they have not lived my life and felt what I have felt then how could they? I can not even relate my life to others but somehow find myself able to relate to theirs which has made me a great friend and has enabled me to find my path in life. Not everyone can relate to everything in “my” life but there are sometimes people in this world that have felt some things I have felt or gone through and that is where I found support and understanding. I will pray for you and your wonderful miracle of a son. Have faith!

]]> By: Caregiving Twittercast Coming Up on Monday at Fem2pt0 : society’s issues + women’s voices http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/07/08/unless-you-have-lived-this-life-you-cant-possibly-understand/#comment-6228 Caregiving Twittercast Coming Up on Monday at Fem2pt0 : society’s issues + women’s voices Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:34:42 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1132#comment-6228 [...] from NC, Unless You Have Lived This Life You Can’t Possibly Understand, [...] [...] from NC, Unless You Have Lived This Life You Can’t Possibly Understand, [...]

]]> By: Sandy http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/07/08/unless-you-have-lived-this-life-you-cant-possibly-understand/#comment-6206 Sandy Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:41:51 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1132#comment-6206 Hi Teresa. After searching for hours for some sort of blogging community for "my kind" of parents of special needs children, I had just about given up hope. Apparently, there doesn't seem to be that forum available to a parent like you... a parent like me. My 8-year-old daughter was also born with a subdural hematoma. Her brain was pushed past midline, and 1/3 of her blood had pooled into her skull. She was given less than a 50% chance of living. But, she's a fighter. We, too, have had PT, OT, ST, and Vision therapy since she was finally released from the NICU. Lexie's official diagnoses include mental retardation, cerebral palsy, and scoliosis. She is not mainstreamed. She is not potty trained. She does not read, write, hold conversations, or follow directions. But, she DOES laugh, make requests, interact, and brighten my days (not every day, but most). Let me just tell you that I UNDERSTAND. Every single one of your wishes are my wishes also. I won't tell you not to worry; that it will all be ok. I can't say that to you because I don't always believe it myself. What I do know is that I will get up every day for as long as I possibly can and take care of my little girl. When people stop and stare at her, I will continue to smile at her and tell her I love her. When she needs services, I will fight like a mother lion to make sure she gets them. I will try not to dwell on the absolutely paralyzing fear of what will happen when I am not here to care for her. I figure I have a good 30 years to work that out. And I will. And so will you. You will because you have to. I have lost track of the number of people have said to me "I don't think I could do it" [raise my daughter]. I always respond, after the initial slap that their words deliver has subsided, that they would be able to do it because they would have to. You have the strength and the power. You know you do! You have made it for 12 years through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. You just have to keep going. What choice do we have, really? Hang in there and KNOW that you are not alone. Hi Teresa. After searching for hours for some sort of blogging community for “my kind” of parents of special needs children, I had just about given up hope. Apparently, there doesn’t seem to be that forum available to a parent like you… a parent like me. My 8-year-old daughter was also born with a subdural hematoma. Her brain was pushed past midline, and 1/3 of her blood had pooled into her skull. She was given less than a 50% chance of living. But, she’s a fighter. We, too, have had PT, OT, ST, and Vision therapy since she was finally released from the NICU. Lexie’s official diagnoses include mental retardation, cerebral palsy, and scoliosis. She is not mainstreamed. She is not potty trained. She does not read, write, hold conversations, or follow directions. But, she DOES laugh, make requests, interact, and brighten my days (not every day, but most). Let me just tell you that I UNDERSTAND. Every single one of your wishes are my wishes also. I won’t tell you not to worry; that it will all be ok. I can’t say that to you because I don’t always believe it myself. What I do know is that I will get up every day for as long as I possibly can and take care of my little girl. When people stop and stare at her, I will continue to smile at her and tell her I love her. When she needs services, I will fight like a mother lion to make sure she gets them. I will try not to dwell on the absolutely paralyzing fear of what will happen when I am not here to care for her. I figure I have a good 30 years to work that out. And I will. And so will you. You will because you have to. I have lost track of the number of people have said to me “I don’t think I could do it” [raise my daughter]. I always respond, after the initial slap that their words deliver has subsided, that they would be able to do it because they would have to. You have the strength and the power. You know you do! You have made it for 12 years through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. You just have to keep going. What choice do we have, really? Hang in there and KNOW that you are not alone.

]]> By: Gloria Pan http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/07/08/unless-you-have-lived-this-life-you-cant-possibly-understand/#comment-6203 Gloria Pan Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:37:55 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1132#comment-6203 Teresa, you have the emotional strength of Atlas who had the world on his shoulders and I bet you sometimes want to shrug. You have my deepest admiration. Since you joined the NFCA story project, you have obviously ventured online with your experience and voiced your desire for help. Have you found an online community to provide that emotional support you need? The Internet is so vast - surely the right group exists. Teresa, you have the emotional strength of Atlas who had the world on his shoulders and I bet you sometimes want to shrug. You have my deepest admiration. Since you joined the NFCA story project, you have obviously ventured online with your experience and voiced your desire for help. Have you found an online community to provide that emotional support you need? The Internet is so vast - surely the right group exists.

]]> By: MadamaAmbi http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/07/08/unless-you-have-lived-this-life-you-cant-possibly-understand/#comment-6201 MadamaAmbi Thu, 09 Jul 2009 00:31:53 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1132#comment-6201 hi Teresa--I didn't have women like you in mind when I started to organize an online support group for burned-out feminists, but you are very welcome to join us if you think it might help. I have known some people in similar situations and I know that they also worry about what happens to their child when they're gone. I don't know. They might be happy to share with you how they're handling it... Check out my post titled Burnout Antidote and if you are interested, leave a comment so that I remember to get back in touch with you when we figure out where/when. hi Teresa–I didn’t have women like you in mind when I started to organize an online support group for burned-out feminists, but you are very welcome to join us if you think it might help. I have known some people in similar situations and I know that they also worry about what happens to their child when they’re gone. I don’t know. They might be happy to share with you how they’re handling it…

Check out my post titled Burnout Antidote and if you are interested, leave a comment so that I remember to get back in touch with you when we figure out where/when.

]]> By: Blog Carnival: Women and Caregiving at Fem2pt0 : society’s issues + women’s voices http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/07/08/unless-you-have-lived-this-life-you-cant-possibly-understand/#comment-6200 Blog Carnival: Women and Caregiving at Fem2pt0 : society’s issues + women’s voices Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:55:46 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1132#comment-6200 [...] from NC, Unless You Have Lived This Life You Can’t Possibly Understand, [...] [...] from NC, Unless You Have Lived This Life You Can’t Possibly Understand, [...]

]]>