Stacey’s story originally appeared as part of The NFCA Story Project. Stacey lives in Carteret, New Jersey.

My name is Stacey. I am a 40 year old single white female. I am a caregiver to both my mother & grandmother. I have been assisting both of them for 8 years now. My grandmother is 76 years old, has emphysema, an anneurysm by her heart, a tumor on her adrenal gland and throid disease.

My mom is 60 years old and has always had severe health problems. Two hip replacement surgeries on her left side, a partial mastectomy, her thryoid gland removed, a tumor on her adrenal gland and recently underwent open heart surgery. She has a repaired valve, a pacemaker and and ICD unit. She also now has diabetes and a host of other problems developing.

I do not receive any form of help, whether it be financially, physically or emotionally. I am depressed/angry at the fact I have to choose between working to pay bills and keep my job and being there for my mom to stay on top of her doctors and developing health problems. I have no time left to take from work anymore and I cannot afford to have unpaid leave.

I love them both and would do it all again but there are times I am so exhausted, I seriously can’t form a thought. Times I feel like crying but just can’t…

Wish List:

What would make caregiving more easy is for the state/government to have programs in place that will actually DO what they say they do and have "qualified" people doing it! It would be nice if there was a program in place that would allow people like myself, that has no other family members, to have some form of paid leave without our jobs being in jeopardy.

As far as what I "wish"… that would be that I could manage everything better and not feel so torn all the time. To have assistance both financially and physically. Someone I can "TRUST" to look after my mom & grandmother so I can get out once in a while and not feel guilty or worry because I know they are in capable hands.