People need to do what ever needs to be done to have peace within

My name is Sylvia and I care for my ailing mother. Mom has been battling stage 3 cancer since 1996. While she has beat the cancer (to date), the chemotherapy has left her with congestive heart failure. I received a call from a doctor 2 years ago telling me that my mother only has 15% functionality of her heart and that she can no longer liver alone. I threw my 2 cats in the car, put the furniture in storage and off I went to mother’s house. She continued to get worse, even after many surgeries. Seven months later, the doctor called me again and told me that my mother can not live in her house any longer because going up and down the steps was too much for her failing heart.

Three weeks later, off we went, moving into a new house that had a bedroom on the first floor for mom. Within the past 13 months, I have moved twice without any help. You see, I am the only sibling and have no help. My mother has siblings but they are all much older than her. It has been a very tough road.

I work 10 hour days as an engineering manager. I am writing a doctoral dissertation, and I teach at the University to help with the medical expenses. I have trouble sleeping and have not had a vacation in quite awhile. I have been reprimanded on several occasions for taking off work, even though my manager also has an elderly mother. Putting mom into an assisted living facility is out of the question due to the high cost. I tried to get long-term healthcare for her, but I could not get her approved because of her pre-existing condition (cancer).

This country is not set up for adding people. While there are organizations that pretend to exist solely for the elderly, they are just a listing agency for other resources. For the moment, I still have my job, but with the economy like it is, none of us know for how long. Family and Medical Leave seemed like a good alternative, until you talk to people who have used that option. They took time off and when they returned, there position was all but obsolete and they were deemed irrelevant to the organization.

After saying lots of prayers, I’ve decided that you only have one mother and people need to do what ever needs to be done to have peace within.

Sylvia Palm
Rockville, MD

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