Comments on: With Despair http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/09/14/with-despair/ society’s issues + women’s voices Wed, 08 Sep 2010 03:11:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Suzanne http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/09/14/with-despair/comment-page-1/#comment-6271 Suzanne Fri, 02 Oct 2009 20:07:57 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1178#comment-6271 Wow! You are an amazing writer! "Patriarchy patholigizes the ones finally driven insane by the insanty, but there are women who hold onto their sanity so that whne they wail and keen they will be taken seriously." Thank you. Wow! You are an amazing writer! “Patriarchy patholigizes the ones finally driven insane by the insanty, but there are women who hold onto their sanity so that whne they wail and keen they will be taken seriously.” Thank you.

]]> By: MadamaAmbi http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/09/14/with-despair/comment-page-1/#comment-6259 MadamaAmbi Sun, 20 Sep 2009 21:54:54 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1178#comment-6259 Suzanne--comfort is where we find it and I do understand how being around 75 people oming their way to peace and balance can heal. Send me some of that good stuff, wouldja? But, the real reason for writing here today is I want to underscore that the wail of despair must be the prelude to the OM of healing. The voices of women who are brave enough to feel their despair and keen it are important, as or even more important than the voices of reason trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again. Patriarchy pathologizes the ones finally driven insane by the insanity, but there are women who hold onto their sanity so that when they wail and keen they will be taken seriously. We need more women wailing. We need to help one another wail, recover, wail, recover...and so on, until the walls come tumbling down...say I... Suzanne–comfort is where we find it and I do understand how being around 75 people oming their way to peace and balance can heal. Send me some of that good stuff, wouldja? But, the real reason for writing here today is I want to underscore that the wail of despair must be the prelude to the OM of healing. The voices of women who are brave enough to feel their despair and keen it are important, as or even more important than the voices of reason trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again. Patriarchy pathologizes the ones finally driven insane by the insanity, but there are women who hold onto their sanity so that when they wail and keen they will be taken seriously. We need more women wailing. We need to help one another wail, recover, wail, recover…and so on, until the walls come tumbling down…say I…

]]> By: Suzanne http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/09/14/with-despair/comment-page-1/#comment-6257 Suzanne Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:28:51 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1178#comment-6257 MadamaAmbi - thank you for your thoughtful comment. "Blaming is a defense against feeling pain and dealing with it." This is so true. Blaming is an easy out for fixing. That's exactly why I am despairing. When the world financial system collapsed I was apeshit angry that no one was asking "what's wrong with this system? how can it be fixed?" The answer was "Wall Street has a gun to our head so we're writing a blank check." And now everyone is frightened -- terrified -- there are an average of 16 applications for every minimum wage job opening. So blame is the easy thing to do. Blame Obama. Blame the haters. As for collective healing, one of the studios where I practice yoga is very crowded. Hearing 75 people chant "OOOOMMMMMMMM" nearly knocks you over with the collective power. Especially after a long, hard, contemplative session. How this can help anything, I don't know. But it gives me faith that the possibility of healing exists in the world. Thanks again for your thoughful comment. MadamaAmbi – thank you for your thoughtful comment. “Blaming is a defense against feeling pain and dealing with it.” This is so true. Blaming is an easy out for fixing. That’s exactly why I am despairing. When the world financial system collapsed I was apeshit angry that no one was asking “what’s wrong with this system? how can it be fixed?” The answer was “Wall Street has a gun to our head so we’re writing a blank check.” And now everyone is frightened — terrified — there are an average of 16 applications for every minimum wage job opening. So blame is the easy thing to do. Blame Obama. Blame the haters.

As for collective healing, one of the studios where I practice yoga is very crowded. Hearing 75 people chant “OOOOMMMMMMMM” nearly knocks you over with the collective power. Especially after a long, hard, contemplative session. How this can help anything, I don’t know. But it gives me faith that the possibility of healing exists in the world.

Thanks again for your thoughful comment.

]]> By: MadamaAmbi http://www.fem2pt0.com/2009/09/14/with-despair/comment-page-1/#comment-6256 MadamaAmbi Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:20:21 +0000 http://www.fem2pt0.com/?p=1178#comment-6256 Suzanne--one of the things lacking in our public discourse is how change happens, how change works, and whether the models of change we currently look to can help us rebuild a system that is broken. Revolution, secession, coup, take-over, etc., are what we usually use to name major change in the political forum. But, in my opinion, these are broken, too. The only model of change I know of personally, and the only one I know of that works, is psychological/cognitive change. I've been gently pushing this model but most people don't have a clue what I'm talking about. The issue, imo, is pain. There has to be a working through of the pain we are creating, and we have to arrive at a shared grief. I refer readers once again to the film Pray the Devil Back to Hell--it is instructive for us right now. I have other ideas about group work to address shared social pain, but very few people in entrenched political positions want to deal with pain. Blaming is a defense against feeling pain and dealing with it. Defensiveness is a way to shut down one's listening. But who wants to listen to an old wise-woman when we are so trained to fight it out to the death? Unlike you, I don't think there's a fix. It will get much worse before people realize our systems are broken and we need to build from the bottom up. To build from the bottom up, you have to literally hit the bottom and hurt all over. It has to be the most painful awakening you have known. You have to say uncle. You have to look at the wreckage and see that it was caused by us, by our systems of injustice, our bias, our institutionalized cruelty and stubborn ignorance. This is a tough sell. Suzanne–one of the things lacking in our public discourse is how change happens, how change works, and whether the models of change we currently look to can help us rebuild a system that is broken. Revolution, secession, coup, take-over, etc., are what we usually use to name major change in the political forum. But, in my opinion, these are broken, too. The only model of change I know of personally, and the only one I know of that works, is psychological/cognitive change. I’ve been gently pushing this model but most people don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. The issue, imo, is pain. There has to be a working through of the pain we are creating, and we have to arrive at a shared grief. I refer readers once again to the film Pray the Devil Back to Hell–it is instructive for us right now. I have other ideas about group work to address shared social pain, but very few people in entrenched political positions want to deal with pain. Blaming is a defense against feeling pain and dealing with it. Defensiveness is a way to shut down one’s listening. But who wants to listen to an old wise-woman when we are so trained to fight it out to the death? Unlike you, I don’t think there’s a fix. It will get much worse before people realize our systems are broken and we need to build from the bottom up. To build from the bottom up, you have to literally hit the bottom and hurt all over. It has to be the most painful awakening you have known. You have to say uncle. You have to look at the wreckage and see that it was caused by us, by our systems of injustice, our bias, our institutionalized cruelty and stubborn ignorance. This is a tough sell.

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