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Why Do We Marry People Like Our Parents?

Our early childhood plays a major role in our choice of romantic partners. Dr. Harville Hendrix theorizes that “We marry the emotional image of our caregivers—both positive and negative.”

Sometimes, in an effort to resolve troublesome issues with a parent, we choose a partner with the same personality flaw that left us feeling unsatisfied as a child. That choice is a desperate, last-gasp attempt to get the love or attention we longed for.

If that sounds preposterous, let me illustrate the hypothesis by describing my four husbands.

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Chivalry Must Die: On Women’s Expectations and Men’s Obligations

Like most women, I believe my male friends to be nice people.  They don’t catcall or sexually harass women on the street, they are thoughtful and sweet, and they believe in women’s equality and gender justice like good progressives. And so I give them on break on chivalry, because I know that they don’t mean […]

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Are Modern Men Manly Enough?

This weekend’s New York Times “Room for Debate” asks whether today’s men are ‘manly enough’: “A-list actors are getting facials in “Mansome,” Morgan Spurlock’s newest documentary, and pumping their waxed chests in Steven Soderbergh’s “Magic Mike,” one of the summer’s most popular movies.  But is all this exfoliated, chiseled perfection what women really want? And should men really be making it […]

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On World Population Day: Reproductive Health From Kenya to Mississippi

This past week, we celebrated World Population Day.  It’s not news to anyone that the world’s population keeps getting larger while the world stays the same size and gets a little dirtier.  Population growth is an issue that needs to be carefully addressed in the future, as the world continues to fight poverty, disease, and resource […]

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I Dated A Charming, Popular Sexual Predator

Lynn Beisner warns all women to always trust their gut, but sometimes the guys we label as “creepy” aren’t sexual predators, they’re just insecure. In her experience, it’s the charming, popular guys who can be the most dangerous. The recent discussion about creeps has been both encouraging and concerning for me. I am encouraged because I believe that we […]

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Is it Really a Happy Mother’s Day?

It is difficult being a mother. Mothers bear the brunt of burdens, plainly seen if you take a look at the measly ratings the United States received from the recently published Save the Children State of the World’s Mothers. Not only does the country rank 25th on the list of Best Places to be a Mother, it […]

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To Males Homophobes Who Love Lesbians… Your Sexism is Showing

Obama’s recent statement that he supports gay marriage has once more opened the floor for political discourse on gay rights in America and in the rest of the world. Minutes after Obama’s announcement, twitter was swarming with supportive tweets using the hash tag: #ISupportSameSexMarriage. What caught my eye, however, were the select few tweets that […]

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Why We Shouldn’t Make Jokes About Rape or Sandwiches

Feminists have no sense of humor.  We flip out at every tiny thing.  We make a big fuss about inconsequential, totally minor things that absolutely aren’t a big deal instead of focusing on the big and important issues.  Lipstick feminism, it’s called. So why are jokes about women making sandwiches and language like “banging chicks” […]

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A New Book on Lesbian Marriage Presents a Range of Voices

How do we resolve a problematic institution like marriage? Rooted in a less than ideal history of married women once being equated with chattel, anti-miscegenation laws and its current state of being only universally available to heterosexual couples, marriage still endures to mean something unique within our society. So, does one participate, hoping to reform […]

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The Perks of Herpes

We were naked. He was hard. I’d always considered this moment the best time to disclose, because rejection seemed less likely when the possibility of a good lay was hot-breath close. Though maybe once we’re naked, it’s too late. I shut my legs and stacked my knees to one side. “I have to tell you […]

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