Prochoice is love, unconditionally

Let me tell you about Davion Only:

  • He’s a 15 year old who lives in Florida.
  • He loves football and has dreams of playing on a team when he has the chance.
  • He’s struggled with school but has worked hard to improve his grades.
  • And like so many of us, he’s struggled with his weight.

But unlike so many of us, Davion can’t remember how many homes he’s lived in throughout his lifetime. He never met his biological mother. And, until recently, he didn’t know anyone loved him – other than God.

Davion believes that while much of the world has seemingly given up on him, that God has not. And it was his faith that led him to stand in front of a church congregation and asked someone –  “old or young, dad or mom, black, white, purple” – anyone to adopt him. To have a caring person offer him that sought after ‘forever family’ that he’s been searching for.

photo child kathleen

Adoption is not a topic that often makes the news, and rarely does it become a topic that causes an ‘internet sensation’ as was the case with Davion’s story. So I sent it to as many people as I could, hoping to use it as an impromptu teachable moment about the forgotten half of the prochoice debate.

The responses were fairly predictable: “Oh, isn’t that sad”. “I couldn’t stop crying”. “That poor kid”.  “Someone should adopted him”. That’s the usual response when it comes to adoption – a moment of sympathy, and then all is forgotten.

But let’s be honest: I doubt these are the types of responses Davion wants to hear. He didn’t choose to stand up in front of a crowd and speak in desperation to pull at our proverbial heartstrings, and he definitely doesn’t want us feeling sorry for him as a result of his plea. He’s not a ‘poor kid’ and he doesn’t want our tears. He just wants what he is entitled to. What all children are entitled to. To be loved as he is – without condition.

And yet the protesters who stand outside of the Morgentaler clinic in Fredericton where I am a clinic escort, just as they do at thousands of other abortion clinics across North America, confront women at their most vulnerable, urging them to ‘save the children’.

Save them from what exactly? A lifetime of shifting between foster homes? Of potential poverty, broken promises, and missed opportunities? I realize that the individuals who so insensitively flash their signs of hate are indifferent to the plight of women. But if their true intent is to ‘save’ the children, then they need to consider ALL children in their efforts.

This is perhaps what makes the anti-choice argument so disjointed: that their agenda views the lives of children yet to develop internal organs more important, more valuable, and much more worthy of attention and advocacy than those who already utilize theirs on a daily basis. Adoption is a wonderful reproductive option, but forcing it upon women inevitably hurts children.

All children are deserving of love that is both unconditional and constant. And this is what a prochoice society creates: that the children born into this world are ALL wanted and cherished. Rather than force children, like Davion, to market themselves in order to find ‘forever families’ it ensures that all children are welcomed into loving homes. To be prochoice is to be pro-life, not in the sense that one is anti-abortion, but rather that all life is created out of love – not condition.

I am a proud adoptee, perhaps even more than Davion is a proud foster child. I am not ashamed of my family history (or lack thereof) and I am admittedly grateful for each and every opportunity that’s been allotted to me. I am one of the 0.012% children in the world who are put up for adoption each and every year and are fortunate enough to find a forever family.

So I ask the anti-choice community to think of me, and think of Davion, and consider how holding your handmade hate-filled signs and shouting obscenities is working to save children like us. If you truly love children, and you truly want to make a difference, you can start by advocating for adoption rights and improved foster care. The millions will thank you.

Photo Credit hira3 via Creative Commons 

Facebook Twitter Email

Tags: ,