Although Big Freedia is anatomically male, she refers to herself with female pronouns, and has crowned herself the “Queen Diva” of the New Orleans bounce music scene. Her fluid sexuality and prideful adoption of feminine characteristics mean her deep-voiced commands to “bend over” don’t feel derogatory. The refrain in her song, “Gin In My System” is “I’ve got that gin in my system / Somebody’s gonna be my victim.” By all accounts, that sounds incredibly offensive. However, Freedia performs the song in a call-and-response style, letting the audience fill in the “somebody’s gonna be my victim” line. It isn’t predatory because everyone is participating willingly, and no one is targeted.

When Big Freedia encourages audience members to rush the stage during her performances, she does not single out “sexy ladies,” or even “ladies”: she makes a point of inviting everyone. In fact, she’ll remind men to come up if there are none on stage. The professional dancers vary in sex, race, and personal style, setting a precedent for those who join the stage. At her November 2011 show in Brooklyn, every size, age, shape, and color of ass imaginable was represented on stage.

Big Freedia has command over everyone on stage, which gives an air of protection to participants. One would think this type of show would attract men who find it acceptable to grab any woman’s ass. The Queen Diva does not tolerate that kind of behavior. I have read that Big Freedia has interrupted performances in the past to tell men that they need to back away from women.

The performances exude sexuality for sexuality’s sake and the dancing is not specifically for anyone else’s amusement. Everyone who participates in Big Freedia’s stage antics is having fun and smiling, taking pride in themselves and their bodies. To dance at a Freedia show is to be comfortable in your body and to be confident in what it does—specifically the back portion. At the same time, the dancing is a collective act. The audience cheers for its own members who entertain them on stage, and the brave ones on stage are there to soak up the appreciation. The encouragement goes both ways.

If you have not been to a Big Freedia show yet, I highly recommend you check one out before they start to cost more than $10.

Networking can be stressful. Walking up to strangers, job-grubbing, the part where you realize you forgot your business cards…It’s also tough to make contacts in new cities. Especially the transition from a hyper-political town like DC to a hyper-everything town like New York City. That’s where the Women’s Information Network (WIN) comes in to save you from your awkward transitional career-building woes!

Our DC readers should be familiar with WIN, who put on great networking events, happy hours, and discussions for Democratic, pro-choice professional women. Since moving to New York City, I have missed the abundance of these types of organized activities that I had back in Washington. New York’s networking culture tends to be a little more informal than DC’s, and there is a greater diversity of career tracks, which can be intimidating at times. It turns out that many WIN ladies moved to NYC and felt the same way, so they started a WIN NYC chapter! I attended a pre-launch event last month where I met women in all different professions of all ages. It was definitely the kind of warm, welcoming environment that I had been looking for. Everyone was very friendly, conversational, and of course willing to trade business cards. There are still lots of opportunities to get further involved in event planning, or chairing committees in WIN too.

The official Launch of WIN NYC is TONIGHT on Thursday, December 8th at 7:00pm. The event will be held at The Delancey–an all around great venue–on 168 Delancey Street in Manhattan’s Lower East Side. Come early, since the first fifty attendees get two free drink tickets each! They ask that you register for the event here.

I look forward to seeing all of our NYC Fem 2.0 readers (and contributors) tonight!

Photo Credit: Women’s Information Network (WIN)

Photo Credit: Agefoto

The Professional Fridays column usually features great information for on-the-job issues. Unfortunately, there are the 10 percent of us who have no job at which to be professional. It’s not all pajamas and ice cream at 3pm. Having been unemployed a couple of times, I know about the issues that no one tells you about. Besides networking skills, you will need ways to deal with potential anger and frustration. However, you will also want to know how to take advantage of this sweet-sweet freedom.

Get SOME sort of structure in your life. All of a sudden, your days seem to blend together into an abyss of blank time. To combat this feeling, schedule as many things as you can during the day. I’ve scheduled showering and lunch. No shame. If you can still afford a gym membership, develop a routine there based on a workout regimen or group classes. I found that going to gym classes afforded me a new group of friends outside of my normal circle, which gave me a different perspective on my career and my life. Going to the gym also means you will have a great outlet for stress and anxiety from inactivity or interviews, and of course you will be fit and healthy!the-job issues. Unfortunately, there are the 10 percent of us who have no job at which to be professional. It’s not all pajamas and ice cream at 3pm. Having been unemployed a couple of times, I know about the issues that no one tells you about. Besides networking skills, you will need ways to deal with potential anger and frustration. However, you will also want to know how to take advantage of this sweet-sweet freedom.

Sexual criminals are being regarded simply as men who can’t control themselves instead of sick human beings. Sexual predators are looking for females. Women are predisposed to be victims of sexual assault no matter what we wear. Case in point: recently, I was hollered at by two men in two separate cars within a six-second time frame while wearing jeans and a polo shirt, with no makeup. Totally asking for it, right? Every woman can recall a times when they have gotten unsavory comments while wearing winter coats, scarves over their faces, hats smushing their hair. Women get hollered at, attacked, and raped for being women.

Over the past several months, there have been several reported cases of sexual assault by the same attacker in South Park Slope, one neighborhood over from mine in Brooklyn.  Women in the area have been abuzz about who sells pepper spray and how to hold keys between our knuckles in a menacing way. We always check with each other to make sure we are not walking home through secluded streets by ourselves. We are being smart, practical and safe. We hope that when there’s trouble, we can also count on the police to issue similar warnings and helpful advice.

Unfortunately, this has not been the case. Recently an NYPD officer advised several female South Slope residents not to wear shorts or short skirts, so as not to give the suspect “easy access.” I realize that not all cops have this attitude, and most are working hard to keep us safe, but this incident only fans the flames of women who feel that they are being asked to carry too much of a burden for their safety. It is also disturbing that an NYPD spokesman issued a jokey half-apology for the incident: “officers are not telling women what not to wear — there’s a TV series that does that,” going on to cite that the poor cop was trying to being helpful, as the attacker has “targeted women wearing short skirts.”

 It should be noted that the one time the attacker was caught on tape, the victim was wearing a hoodie and pants.

Enter SlutWalk NYC on October 1, 2011 held in Manhattan’s bustling Union Square. SlutWalks have been organized in dozens of cities around the world. They aim to empower women against victim-blaming in sexual assault cases by freely expressing sexuality and speaking out about their experiences with abuse. I attended the rally portion and felt a roundhouse kick of catharsis. Protestors carried signs with slogans such as “Still Not Asking For It” and “We Are Not Street Meat.” One brave woman named Kaitlin Archibald, pictured here, smiled as she displayed a sign about how she was raped while wearing sweatpants at home, following the “rules” of rape prevention.

There was a refreshing sense of solidarity amongst SlutWalk attendees. I have heard peers call the Walk self-involved for all of the underwear-clad women and negligible effect on would-be abusers, but that’s the point. It’s about women being comfortable and confident for themselves. The most important takeaway was that despite police indifference or outright unhelpfulness, women will stick together. Beyond the pepper spray and the keys between knuckles, and the walks home, we support each other by defending ourselves against blame. We are not ashamed to be women. We are not ashamed of our bodies. We do not mind if men enjoy our bodies as we enjoy theirs, but it has to be on both of our terms.

Good news for liberated ladies! Yesterday, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) enacted new guidelines to provide a variety of free preventive services to women, effective on plan years starting on or after August 1, 2012. These reforms stem from the hotly contested Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act of 2010. One of the most significant provisions in HHS’ new guidelines is the inclusion of free contraceptive methods and counseling. Before you rush to the clinic or doctor’s office for all of your new-found freebies, here are a few things you should know:

1. No more dollar bills for your pills.

No more co-pays, co-insurance, or deductibles on any FDA-approved contraceptive methods.  Just because five out of eight hippies swear by it does not mean the government does. You can complete a transaction at the local pharmacy or behemoth chain pharmacy without reaching for your wallet. It’s a beautiful thing not to have to compromise control over your body for food, cell phone bills or other essential goods and services. However, note that you are still technically paying for services in your premium. They will be dollar-covered by your insurance company, just like other essential services and medications that do not require a co-pay.

2. Kraft still costs more than Foodtown.

Your insurance company may not cover brand-name drugs completely if there is a generic version available, as is the case with other medication. As always, consult with your medical provider to decide which is right for you. Remember that you also must have a prescription.

3. Baby already on board? HHS isn’t on board, either.

The new coverage provisions are for preventive care only, so sterilization procedures and morning-after pills are covered, but abortifacient (abortion-inducing) drugs and procedures are not covered. It should be noted that family planning counseling IS included, so if you’re expecting and need advice, you will not be turned away.

4. Praying could mean paying.

Religious institutions that offer insurance to employees have the choice to opt out of contraceptive coverage under HHS’ new provisions.   If your employer has a clear religious agenda, and hires/serves people of that religion, check with your benefits administrator to find out if their insurance will cover contraceptives.

5. We are women, and we roar at federal agencies.

HHS is allowing public comment on their ruling for the next sixty days, fifty-nine now. As we watch the systematic slashing of Planned Parenthood funding unfolding on the state level, it’s of utmost importance that we make our voices heard in support of free contraceptive services. Lawmakers and bureaucrats alike need to know that free contraceptives are the new norm, and that anything less is unacceptable.