Warning: This is a long-read, but not nearly as long as an average Super Bowl.

Now that the Superbowl is over, people can focus on what to do about the reality of football-related head injuries and how to manage risks.  If you are an adult athlete, what do you do given the possible economic consequences? If you are a parent of a boy who wants to play football, what do you do? And, football is mainly a boy’s sport. Girls have the greatest risk of concussion playing soccer.  Which is part of why I think these are the wrong questions.

Here are some that I think are more important and inclusive of those above: What is it about football culture that makes “playing through the pain” a norm? Why aren’t girls playing and why, when they do, is their athleticism made to seem rare and exceptional, when it is not? What makes coaches and parents continue a pee-wee game in which five little boys get concussions? What kind of people are interested in making a 9-year-old girl feel special, only to have her grow up to realize that there is no place for her in the world that she loves as she gets older? Yes, the physical risks to players should be taken with the utmost seriousness, but the more important questions are about what lessons kids are learning about how to define themselves and to relate to one another.

Football, like all sports, has great benefits for those who play. It’s fun to be good at something, to participate in a team, belong to a community and be recognized for your hard work and accomplishments. It’s also the way lots of boys bond with their dads. What I’m going to say will be anathema to many who will take my critique personally, but I’m writing about systems, not individuals or specific teams. Some of the sweetest boys I know play and some of the nicest people I can imagine love this game and are rightfully proud of their kids. But our most popular and important game is one that establishes a violent, physical, conformist, sex-based social hierarchy with strong boys at the top and “feminized” boys and marginalized, either sexualized or “masculinized,” girls at the bottom.

And, I’m not talking about about sexist Superbowl advertising. Football doesn’t have a problem with stereotypes. Football IS a problem with stereotypes. As wholeheartedly supportive as I am of critical campaigns like #Notbuyingit, in terms of football, this is a good start, but it’s like about whether to use a blue or green umbrella to stand under Niagara Falls.

What lessons are kids learning in addition to the good ones?

LESSON ONE:  It’s a man’s world. In football, girls can’t often play with the boys. Even earlier than necessary, they are separated by gender. We keep getting told this. There are safety issues that NFL rules are constitutionally incapable of addressing. (These rules have changed more than 40 times since 1876, sometimes to ensure safety as they will with brain injury issues; it’s just too much to figure out how to allow athletic women to play). There are, however, girls and women who play and play well. They have their own teams, and to date, have been most successful when dressed in lingerie. Or, they’re slightly mocked and stereotyped. Or not that well-known.  Can you name a women’s professional football league?  In addition, women apparently can’t coach teams of male athletes in this country, especially football teams. You’d think that information is tattooed on our ovaries at birth given these statistics: There has never been a female professional football coach, only 3% of coaches in football college have been women, and there is only one female varsity high school football coach in the country. And, while diversity is a recognized issue in all sports, these concerns rarely extend to women.  It’s just too much for some people to even consider. Kids aren’t stupid.  They’re just small people.

LESSON TWO: Girls and women are marginal and good for only a few, narrowly defined things: How they look, if they’re fertile and how well they can support their men. Women can’t play the “real” “game” that everyone loves and admires, but they can entertain from the sidelines. Chances are, they’re likely to be serving snacks during games as well. Or “choosing” to confront bias by self-objectifying. Did you watch the Superbowl halftime show? This isn’t a critique of Beyoncé, a phenomenally talented woman whose show was great. This is a commentary on the role women played and the way in which we are generally allowed entrée — pornified and bootylicious. Did you miss the skyview camera pan that captured a dozen dancers lying on their backs, opening and closing their legs in synchronicity? Or just ignored it? I have no problems with women opening their legs, but context is everything and the context for this is a game is not good. I mean, for god’s sake, even the NFL’s On-Air Talent lineup of 46 people only includes eight women and they are every single one of them beautiful blondes. Consider the optics of the game in general. I know that padding and helmets are for safety and cheerleaders are just wearing cute clothes, but, abstracted, their silhouettes are totems of exaggerated secondary sexual characteristics, especially the men whose protective gear has gotten bigger and bigger, creating a cartoonish male profile. If I wanted to go all conservative brain, Psych 101, bat-shit feminist on you, I’d point out that the silhouette of a cheerleader holding up pompoms in a classic V looks pretty much like a silhouette of women’s reproductive organs. See, I made this neat graphic. Eww. Football culture is the acme of a fetishistic conservative approach to gender.  These visual prompts are related to ideas about behavior reinforced by the game and a mass media consumed by hyper-gendered stereotypes. The Achilles Effect kind that put pressure on boys play through the pain, for example.  Gender stereotypes are rules about how girls and boys are supposed to be and football quite literally embodies those rules.

LESSON THREE: Follow the rules and conform. First and foremost, football is a game about following established rules. All games have rules, but football is seems particularly keen on them.  There are plays and game plans and many people policing them. There are lines everywhere. When you break rules, there are penalties. Refs read your infringements loudly and publicly and announce your punishment.  Compare this to, say, soccer or basketball (both of which are more inclusive of women as athletes), which are fundamentally different in the way that refs work and how individual players’ personalities, creative decisions and fluid responses have the ability to influence a game. It’s not a stretch to say that boys who follow the “playbook” in games might be more inclined to similarly conform off-field.

LESSON FOUR:  Brute force is power and the key to success. Until recently, largely unchallenged heterosexual brute force and power. This game authorizes and regulates the use of violence. It glorifies physical domination. I know that many sports are aggressive and require the physical domination of others, but none so captures the national imagination or is so closely aligned with American masculinity. Football suggests that this equation of brute force with power and success is the basis for sex-based hierarchy off the field.

LESSON FIVE: There is a sex-based hierarchy and girls are inferior, not just physically, but in terms of their humanity, and being like them sucks. There are not many other places where the routine denigration of the feminine, central to treating girls like objects to do with as you wish, isn’t just condoned but integral.  I’m hoping this is changing and generationally bound. But, there is no denying that football has well known “machismo” issues involving bonding rituals (really, just click on it) tied to “play through the pain,” “smear the queer” and “XYZ Express” mentalities. That’s what pink locker rooms and putting tampons in gym is about. This is how helping people out of kindness is called a “pussy on pussy crime.”  These things aren’t “harmless.” They’re contemptuous and they happen every day, are condoned or initiated by coaches and fathers. In exchange for winning, power, status and fraternity we ask too many boys not only to risk serious bodily harm by refusing to complain about pain or worry, but also to suppress their compassion, empathy and sense of justice.

LESSON SIX:  All of the above confer privilege and status.  What is it about football that results in documented gang rapes having the power to “divide” towns and in otherwise good football fans ignoring people’s pain? Parents, coaches and high school administrators, too comfortable saying things like “boys will be boys,” in high school end up doling out ridiculous “slaps on the wrist” for criminal behavior in college.  By the time boys get to college everyone understands how important their athletic status is.  They understand the hierarchy and act accordingly. Every single day victims are told in no uncertain terms that the careers and feelings of athletes are more important than they are.

There is no definitive way to determine whether aggressive male sports cultures inclines boys more to violent crime or whether predisposed boys gravitate to certain sports. The connections between aggression, dominance, individual personalities and family, campus or team cultures are multivariate. However, for decades we’ve seen a steady stream of news, every kind of crime from domestic violence, sexual assault and homophobia to punctuating gang-rapes that give everyone pause. These stories often involve football — either because football players are disproportionately involved or simply important enough to garner a disproportionate amount of attention. While male student athletes make up 3.3% of the U.S. college population, they are responsible for 19% percent of sexual assaults and 37% of domestic violence cases on college campuses. In 2010 more than half of athletes arrested were college football players. Colleges where girls have a 28% chance of being sexually assaulted — four times the national average. Sports participation does NOT turn boys into rapists, homophobes and batterers. However, participation in high-level, all-male sports cultures indicates a propensity for certain behavior and the statistics are pretty awful.

This isn’t a boys are bad and criminal/girls are good and victims issue. It’s about how polarized and exaggerated gender norms cultivate sex-based hierarchies that hurt everyone.  This is the culture that enabled Steubenville and Glen Ridge and Notre Dame and Jovan Belcher and OJ Simpson and Jerry Sandusky to happen. The fact that Joe Paterno said, after his team lost a game, that he had to “go home and beat up [his] wife,” (What a kidder!) is directly related to the decades of tolerated child rape that passed before Sandusky was brought to justice.

By the time an American child immersed in football culture grows up, they will have spent countless days and happy celebrations affirming these lessons. High school parents, administrators and coaches genuinely trying to educate kids to succeed in a diverse and pluralistic society should put a moratorium on playing football and start talking about what it tells kids about how to relate to each other.

For many, women’s ideas, especially feminists’ ideas about masculinity and football, are like 19^th century bastard children: everyone knows they exist and have valid claims, but we would rather ignore them. It takes a man to give them legitimacy. Men like Brendon Ayanbadejo’s, Chris Kluwe’s, Jarvis Green, and Donald MacPherson understand the kind of change that needs to happen. As NFL host James Brown says, so cheesy I know, “It’s Your Call.” We have choices about the “games” our kids play.

PS: As of noon the State Department has still not recalled my passport!

PPS: Here’s a hat for the next game.

Follow Soraya Chemaly on Twitter: www.twitter.com/schemaly

This post is originally published on The Huffington Post and is cross-posted with permission.

photo credit: andril94 via photopin cc

Januaryu 7th, 2013/ Updated Version, January 9th, 2013

Thanks to extensive media coverage, almost everyone in the country knows that Notre Dame lost their championship football game to Alabama. But despite last year’s coverage on CBS, MSNBC and the Washington Post, few Americans are aware of Notre Dame’s cover-up of rapes by Notre Dame football players. Why is the football team’s championship game so newsworthy, and their rape cover-up so, well, successfully covered up?

During last year’s trial of Jerry Sandusky, football fans across the country were horrified to learn about the rapes of dozens of young boys that would not have occurred if it hadn’t been for the cover-up by the Penn State football leadership and highest level administrators. Penn State’s football team, and therefore the college, was punished for the cover-up – including the team members who were completely innocent of the crimes. But those victims were young boys. A

Melinda Hennenberg, a Notre Dame alumna, is one of the few main stream journalists who has written about this travesty, in an article published in the Washington Post last month:

Of the two reported rapes, one of the victims is dead and the other, according to Hennenberg, “decided to keep her mouth shut at least in part because she’d seen what happened to the first woman. Neither player has ever even been named, and won’t be here, either, since neither was charged with a crime.”As luck would have it, federal investigators were on the Notre Dame campus to investigate how the college handles rape reports when the second rape occurred. Hennenberg points out that:

“with its Title IX funding on the line, the university marked the 40th anniversary of coeducation in 2012 by changing the way it investigates sexual assault for the second time in two years.”

Almost 20 years ago, I spoke with government officials about the widespread cover-up of rapes on college campuses. I was sure that if colleges accurately reported rapes, it would greatly influence decisions that college women and their families made about where to attend college. And, similarly, if college campuses were forced to accurately report rapes, they would do a much better job of preventing them.

But, despite some progress, many colleges have concluded that cover-ups are the best way to protect themselves. Notre Dame is the poster child for that strategy, and how successful it can be.

Here’s what Hennenberg eloquently reported in the Washington Post after investigating the rapes for several months.

“Two years ago, Lizzy Seeberg, a 19-year-old freshman at Saint Mary’s College, across the street from Notre Dame, committed suicide after accusing an ND football player of sexually assaulting her. The friend Lizzy told immediately afterward said she was crying so hard she was having trouble breathing.

Yet after Lizzy went to the police, a friend of the player’s sent her a series of texts that frightened her as much as anything that had happened in the player’s dorm room. “Don’t do anything you would regret,” one of them said. “Messing with Notre Dame football is a bad idea.”

At the time of her death, 10 days after reporting the attack to campus police, who have jurisdiction for even the most serious crimes on school property, investigators still had not interviewed the accused. It took them five more days after she died to get around to that, though they investigated Lizzy herself quite thoroughly, even debriefing a former roommate at another school with whom she’d clashed.

Six months later — after the story had become national news — Notre Dame did convene a closed-door disciplinary hearing. The player testified that until he actually met with police, he hadn’t even known why they wanted to speak to him — though his buddy who’d warned Lizzy not to mess with Notre Dame football had spoken to investigators 13 days earlier. He was found “not responsible,” and never sat out a game.

A few months later, a resident assistant in a Notre Dame dorm drove a freshman to the hospital for a rape exam after receiving an S.O.S. call. “She said she’d been raped by a member of the football team at a party off campus,” the R.A. told me. I also spoke to the R.A.’s parents, who met the young woman that same night, when their daughter brought her to their home after leaving the hospital. They said they saw — and reported to athletic officials — a hailstorm of texts from other players, warning the young woman not to report what had happened: “They were trying to silence this girl,” the R.A.’s father told me. And did; no criminal complaint was ever filed.

…..Among those being congratulated for our return to gridiron glory is ND’s president, Rev. John Jenkins, who refused to meet with the Seeberg family on advice of counsel, and other school officials who’ve whispered misleadingly in many ears, mine included, in an attempt to protect the school’s brand by smearing a dead 19-year-old…. At first, officials said privacy laws prevented them from responding. But after some criticism, Jenkins told the South Bend Tribune he’d intentionally kept himself free of any in-depth knowledge of the case, yet was sure it had been handled appropriately.”

On January 7, 2013, the day of Notre Dame’s championship game, Dave Zirin, a writer for Sports Illustrated, wrote an excellent article about this travesty of justice in The Nation [http://www.thenation.com/blog/172042/notre-dame-and-penn-state-two-rape-scandals-only-one-cry-justice].  Zirin points out “the sports media have chosen not to discuss the fact that this football team has two players on its roster suspected of sexual assault and rape; two players whose crimes have been ignored; two players whose accusers felt harassed and intimidated; two players whose presence on the field Monday night should be seen as a national disgrace.”

What’s Notre Dame’s official position on rape?  Well, they do offer a self-defense class for their own women students:  What will it take to convince the Notre Dame leadership and their alumnae that isn’t enough?

In the last few weeks, the deadly rape of a college student on a moving bus in India has finally forced that country to acknowledge that raping women is a terrible crime that needs to be taken seriously by police, the public, and the media.

And, in recent days, the rape of a Steubenville, H.S. student by members of that school’s football team has also captured national attention on NPR and elsewhere, but only because some of the boys joked about it on youtube [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrtFrXRD7KM]

Notre Dame’s championship football game was an opportunity for the media to bring long-overdue attention to the cover-up on that campus, and across the country.  That didn’t happen.  That didn’t happen. Notre Dame lost the game, and only time will tell if the “Fighting Irish” will lose their championship effort to cover-up the very credible accusations of rape by their football players.

Diana Zuckerman is the president of the National Research Center for Women & Families. She received her PhD in psychology from Ohio State University and was a post-doctoral fellow in epidemiology and public health at Yale Medical School.  After serving on the faculty of Vassar and Yale and as a researcher at Harvard, Dr. Zuckerman spent a dozen years as a health policy expert in the U.S. Congress and  a senior policy adviser in the Clinton White House.  She is the author of five books, several book chapters, and dozens of articles in medical and academic journals, and in newspapers across the country.

Photo Credits: freeflight046 via the Creative Commons License and  Lizzy Seeberg at a tailgate party with her family and friends in Sept. 2010. (Courtesy of the Seeberg family.) via Washington Post

As an unabashed Pittsburgh Steelers fan living deep in enemy territory going on a decade now, I’m used to getting insufferable emails, Facebook posts, and tweets from friends who are unfortunately, New England Patriots fans. I still love my misguided friends despite this complete lapse in judgement.

When I opened my email last week from one of these misguided souls, I was expecting some article slamming the Steelers for their recent embarrassing loss to the Cleveland Browns or some listicle about the wonders of Troy Polamalu’s hair. But it was a link to Public Policy Polling’s annual NFL poll on America’s favorite N.F.L. teams and quarterbacks.

To my delight, 8% of respondents polled said the Steelers were their favorite team while only 6% went for the Pats. (Cowboys and Packers at 12%? Whatever.) I was ready to write a snarky reply to my friend about this gem of empirical information till I got to the last paragraph.

“Michael Vick continues to easily be the least popular NFL QB. 27% pick him to 15% for Ben Roethelisberger. No one else hits double digits on that front”  This gave me a bigger aneurysm than watching the Steelers loose to the Raiders in week three!

Here we go again. Michael Vick, convicted dog abuser, is the least liked quarterback in the N.F.L. while Ben Roethlisberger, accused serial rapist, comes in trailing at second place.   Nothing ticks me off more than people who minimize or apologize for Ben Roethlisberger’s violent behavior against women.

Here’s a quick refresher. Vick was convicted in 2007 of running a dog fighting ring and served 23 months in Federal prison and served three years of probation. He also had to apply to the N.F.L. Commissioner for reinstatement to play. Vick was suspended indefinitely by the league when he was convicted.

Roethlisberger was accused by a hostess at a Lake Tahoe hotel-casino of rape that occurred in 2008. In 2009 she filed a civil suit against him, rather than a criminal suit because she claimed she was afraid of being fired. The suit was settled out of court.

Not long after, a 20 year- old college student in Georgia accused him of rape. According to the investigation file, the young woman was drunk and claimed that Roethlisberger  followed her to a bar bathroom where the rape occurred. The victim’s friend’s statement  to police, said the victim was dragged to the VIP section of the bar by Roethlisberger’s ‘bodyguards.’  The women tried to go check on their friend but were blocked from the bathroom by members of Roethlisberger’s entourage, which included two off duty police officers.

The local district attorney did not file charges against Rothlisberger ‘because of the inability to prove that a crime was committed.”  There was too little DNA evidence and the young woman dropped the charges because “a criminal trial would be a very intrusive personal experience” and “a public trial would not at all be in her best interest as she goes forward in her life.” according to her statement through her attorney.

Roethlisberger was suspended for six games (reduced to four) under the NFL’s personal conduct policy for the start of the 2010 season. Pittsburgh company PLB Sports terminated a five-year contract with Roethlisberger as well.

In the two years since Ben got his slap on the wrist  and chastised to “grow up” he’s gone on a holy-roller repentance tour, married his ex-girlfriend, and become a father. Swell.

I am repulsed by Vick’s horrific actions against dogs and I do believe that he rightly went to prison for his indefensible behavior.  But there is something wrong with a society that on the continuum of morally outrageous conduct, dog fighting is somehow a worse offense than hurting women.

And yes, Roethlisberger was never convicted of rape. But guess what? There are a whole bunch of Roman Catholic priests walking around free who will never be convicted of rape either, let’s not pretend it’s because those guys are innocent too. Systemic change to our laws on how rape cases are prosecuted needs to happen, no doubt. But may I humbly suggest that first we need some righteous anger and a change in mentality that puts the well-being of human women before that of animals?

Image credit Wolfgang Staudt via the Creative Commons License.

The 2012 Olympics in London have been heralded as a win for feminism in many ways — some calling it the Title IX games even. And there’s a lot to celebrate for women in these games.

But as the old poem says, we have miles to go before we sleep.

If you’ve watched any part of the Olympics, no doubt you’ve seen at least one of the P&G commercials celebrating moms.  Now, I’m a mother myself and I admit, there’s a certain part of me that gets a little misty when I think about all the sacrifices families must make to help an Olympian achieve their dream.

And then I watch a P&G commercial — for a brand that peddles paper towels and household cleaning products — and I see how the company is exploiting my mom mojo: P&G values moms.  And moms buy household cleaning stuff… because moms clean the house! I didn’t even need to be an Olympian to make that leap.

Enough with the sexist ads P&G!

For one thing, despite the catchy jingle, it’s not just moms who have the magic in the household cleaning department. And for another, this campaign is like getting hit in the head by a two-by-four of social norms.  Only women (aka moms) are parents and therefore deserving of accolades.  Only moms sacrifice. Sorry dads, grandparents, aunts, sisters, brothers, foster/adoptive parents, step parents; your skills, sacrifice, love, and support doesn’t apply here.  Move along.

But it doesn’t stop there.  NBC, which covers the Olympics exclusively, leaves no stone unturned when it comes to dialing up the drama by exploiting the mom mojo.  Of course there are shots of anxious parents in the crowd, watching their Olympian go for gold.  (I don’t even mind that so much.)  But when the announcers start pouring it on too…  Well, it’s so bad that Slate has brought back the Sap-o-meter.

Yes, mothers (and fathers) are proud of their Olympic-caliber offspring. They should be! But doesn’t it distract from the stature of Olympians when we infantilize them to push products?  These people have dedicated their lives to becoming the best athletes in the world.  Let’s show them some respect!

And what about the Olympians who are parents? What about beach volleyball team Kerri Walsh Jennings and Misty May-Treanor, who are going for their third consecutive gold medals in their sport (which, by the way, would be a historic feat in that sport)?  Walsh Jennings is a mother herself, which is why I was doubly offended when John McEnroe referred to the Olympian and her team-mate as “girls,” while talking to Bob Costas. These are not teenage gymnasts — whom I would argue you should call “young women” out of respect for their hard work and discipline as athletes.  These are thirty-somethings with husbands and kids and fully developed adult lives.  They are not girls.

Let’s move on. And in the spirit of the games, move forward.

Photo Credit marcopako  via the Creative Commons License.

This year marks the first year that all of the more than 200 countries represented at the Olympics have a female athlete as part of their delegation. Specifically, this year, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Brunei all included women in the London Games.

Saudi Arabia sent two judo athletes (who may be forced to compete without her headscarf - I’m thinking this is a move away from recent positive developments accommodating the wearing of religious clothing and thus improving the inclusion of all women in sport, although safety is a concern. But I digress.) and an 800 meter runner.
Brunei sent one 400m hurdler.
Qatar sent three women; a swimmer, sprinter and a flag bearer.

(As an aside, Palestine has been allowed to send athletes under it’s flag since 1996 even though it is an unrecognized state by the UN. They sent their first female athlete in 2000, and send another this year.)

In comparison, the US delegation has more women than men competing, ranking in at 269 women and 261 men. But let’s not compare! After all, the US has Title IX that just turned 40, and that changed the fate and futures of many a female athlete on American soil.

Saudi Arabia doesn’t quite have that.

Nevertheless, it is important to note this turn of events, because it means so much for women in sports and the empowerment of girls and women in these nations. Some will say that the Olympics Committee invited these female athletes to make up for gender gaps in sports in these countries, some people will say that they haven’t had resources, training, or opportunities worthy of getting them to the Olympic stage. Still others will claim that this dilutes the importance and worth of the Olympic standard.

Bullshit.

To get to gender equality, you have to go through gender equity. Think of the latter as a band-aid, like scholarships to make up for inequalities, affirmative action in the US and South Africa, gender quotas to fill parliaments with women. Do these actions necessarily target the social inequalities and root of discrimination against women? No. But they are a beginning.

This is much the same for the female representation at the Olympics – and, I would say, is even more important given the global scale of the event and the enormous precedent of having women from these three nations compete in sports. Should you need a reminder, women aren’t allowed to participate in sports in Saudi Arabia, and neither physical education nor sport are taught for girls in school. Conservative Muslim clerics oppose a woman playing sports, saying it is immodest and against their nature – (and before you pass judgement on realities you, as a Western non-Muslim may not understand, let me tell you that this sounds a lot like what my ex used to tell me and what I’ve heard from many a man right around Toronto, Belgium and New York.) And yes, I know, one of the Saudi competitors, Sarah Attar, was born in California and (luckily and rightly) profited from Title IX to become a competitor in her field.

So a cumulative total of 6 women who cannot even compete in their own countries is not enough, you will cry. We should challenge the discrimination, the gender disparities, the structural inequalities present in preventing women from participating in sport! I’m right behind you on that one.

But imagine for a moment the enormity of the moment those women walked into the stadium in London at the Opening Ceremonies. Imagine the joy, the pride, the glory. Imagine the cheers. Imagine the countries at home, watching, beaming with pride (this is a great time to forget about the haters). Imagine girls all around the world who are watching, wearing the hijab, seeing these women that look like them, possibly from their neighborhood, their communities, their countries, imagine watching and seeing them ascend to that level, to that Olympic stage. That is one measure of very very intense empowerment. The importance of strong female role models that girls can identify with is a very important part of a woman’s development.

Empowerment is important for girls in a world that is set on dis-empowering the female mind from the moment she exits the womb. In a media awash in gender discrimination, messages of seemingly acceptable gender violence and stereotypes, girls lose motivation to accomplish great things, focusing instead on the roles they must embody, happily and uncertainly trapping themselves inside the body’s gilded cage. When girls and women lack access to power, lack resources and opportunities, lack the control of their selves and their lives and, perhaps most importantly, lack the acknowledgement of their power, they become shells of potential, and their enabled inaction is a disservice to all levels of development everywhere.

Alice Walker said “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” When social structures are constantly telling girls and women they don’t have power, its hard for them to believe otherwise.

So while the representation of women from all countries may be a small step, it is an important one, one that is entrenched in traditional Olympic principles, and one that serves to inform and empower – a right step on the way to equality.

Image Credit The Other 98%.

You may remember the campaign to get the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) to enact a code of conduct to address numerous times that fighters and staff have used hate speech and instances of sexual violence (including tweeting rape jokes). And while UFC officials are loath to listen — with apologists claiming that, essentially, boys will be boys — in the wake of the Penn State sex abuse case and resulting criminal convictions, the rest of the sports world is clearly taking a different (and more responsible) approach.

Indeed, the recent NCAA punishments handed down on the school for a program, which set a standard of winning above all else, will undoubtedly damage the athletic program at Penn State for years to come. Wins have been retracted from the record books. Joe Paterno is no longer the “winningest coach” in college football. Earnings from all those years of wins and bowl games, some $60 million, will be put in a trust to help detect and protect victims of sexual abuse. This ruling by the NCAA is groundbreaking in its severity and also the message it sends.

The message is clear: Sexual abuse will not be tolerated. And cover-ups of sexual abuse should not only be condemned, but punished.

Some have said that the NCAA ruling is too harsh and will end the football program at Penn State. But I rather like what NCAA President Mark Emmert said:

“We hope we would never, ever see anything of this magnitude or egregiousness again in our lives,” Emmert said. “But we do have to make sure that the cautionary tale of athletics overwhelming core values of the institution and losing sight of why we are really participating in these activities can occur. That’s the balance that every university needs to strive for.”

We’re talking about a program where not only the top coaches, Paterno included, conspired to cover up the criminal actions of Jerry Sandusky but also top administrators of the university as a whole. Winning a game meant more than a child’s safety. Or should I say, making money? Either way, it was unquestionably wrong. And it merits an equal magnitude in punishment.

And on some level what Emmert is talking about is honor. Because our character — our valor — is measured not just when times are good, but when times are bad. That moment when Paterno found out what Sandusky was doing… that was a moment when he could have acted with honor. We have no doubt in our minds that what Sandusky did was wrong. It’s the actions of Paterno and university officials to cover that up, that some people wrestle with. Not me. But some people.

But what does all this have to do with the UFC? Well, as I’ve talked about on my blog many times, sports of all sort contribute to our society in many (positive) ways, not the least of which is providing our children with role models. The UFC, whether you consider it a main-stream sport or not, is in that position, with toys on store shelves, programming in prime time, and a meteoric rise in popularity. But perhaps because of the crimes at Penn State, people are looking more closely at the values held by the organizations that bring us our sporting entertainment.

Perhaps it’s time to think about the honor in sport.

To wit: The US Marines are asking the question: Should they continue to support the UFC? In fact, there’s a poll on their website (lower right hand side of the page).

Interestingly, one of the options is to vote no because the Marines should not support organizations that do not uphold Marine values. This is the right choice, in my opinion. But it’s right in more than one way. First, of course, is that if any branch of the military supports a sports organization, it gives them some legitimacy and lends them some of the honor of that military branch. And secondly, I would like to think that this may trigger a similar scan of the values of the military branches themselves. Sexual assaults and violence against women in the military (by fellow military personnel) are incredibly high and it is almost impossible for those survivors to get any kind of justice.

It’s a question of honor.

So why not vote in the poll? After all, the military are on the payroll of the people. And we are the people.

This post is originally published on The Sin City Siren and is cross-posted with permission.

Photo credit snow0810 via the Creative Commons License.

There is hardly a more garish example of hyper-gendered and sexualized display in sports than American Football. A game the whole family can enjoy. Not just the uber-masculinity of the game itself, but the uniform alone: it is the quintessence of machismo, a celebration of extreme he-ness, a veritable sartorial orgy of male sexual characteristics writ super, super large.

• Exaggerated, broad, strong, protective, manly shoulders? Check
• Wide, angled, muscular chest? Check
• Uncamouflaged, tiny, unfeminine, tight butts? Check
• Unabashedly endowed codpiece-protected privates? Check, check, check!

And, the cherry on the top, for good measure, an infinite variety of helmets with cosmetic grills that do nothing but emulate the head-gear of medieval armor. A men’s American Football uniform, to a woman or a man attracted to other men, is the male version of, well, a female cheerleader’s uniform to a healthy, red-blooded hetero-male gazer.

The male gaze (the degree to which men’s perspective dominates visual culture and turns women into objects) is why we don’t usually think about the football uniform as the peacock display that it is or think of players as unnecessarily overly-sexualized. But, hey, what can I say, that’s how I’ve always looked at men in football uniforms. I’m just not male and I’m a soccer fan. Not only does no one consider the female gaze and its possible economic potential, but recent developments show the ridiculous degree to which the male gaze has been taken to here-to-fore unplumbed depths as women make deeper forays into the world of sports.

For example, take FIFA president Sepp Blatter, that beacon of progressive thinking suggesting as he did last Fall, “Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. Female players are pretty.” Blah. Blah. Pretty mild, run of the mill stuff.

And then, of course, the 2012 Olympic preparations are getting into full gear and the question is: mini-skirts or no mini-skirts for women boxers??? This month the International Amateur Boxing Association (AIBA) is meeting to finally decide whether or not to make mini-skirts mandatory for female boxers during fights. Soon I’ll be able to sleep again. This is, according to the kindly paternalistic dudes at the AIBA, for the women’s own benefit, as it will enable them to “stand out” from the men. Mind you, these are women who fought long and hard to even be able to participate in the Olympics as boxers and who have explained that they don’t even wear mini-skirts when they are NOT boxing.

Aahhh, the Male Gaze. It’s so deeply entrenched in our culture that we don’t consider some of it’s greatest ironies and most ridiculous adaptations. (Just so you know, I am compelled just thinking about it to bat my eyelashes in a sultry fashion as I type.)

Usually, I would chalk the two examples above to so much puerile twaddle, too stupid to spend more words and time on, but alas, I can’t help myself. Because now we have The Lingerie Football League and it’s not fading away as I’ve been longing, naively, that it would.

If you haven’t heard about it yet, let me introduce you to The Lingerie Football League: a “true fantasy” football league in which women play football in bras and panties. And padding. And athletic tape. Oh, and blackening face paint. Teams have phenomenal, sexy-girl names like “Fantasy” and “Bliss,” “Charm” and “Passion.” Their website quotes NBC Sports as saying that today the Lingerie League is “the fastest growing pro-sports league in the nation.” Now, some people castigate women like me (you know, the whiney ones who want equality and think that the planet would be a better place if female people can be understood as multi-dimensional and fully human) for not having a sense of humour. But, I’m here to say “I do! I do have a sense of humour! Otherwise, how on earth could I be a feminist???”

See, the LFL is growing SO fast that it recently announced it’s starting a feeder league to build a multi-generational pipeline of demi-cupped, tackle-football playing boy-toys. YES! Finally! An end to the gender discrimination of professional sports. Is your daughter athletic like mine are? Competitive? Fast? Strong? Here’s a dream opportunity!

The announcement, which I initially thought was a parody, made in October, claimed:

“Now, the league is taking measures to ensure many generations of young ladies have the opportunity.”

I love this! There is more:

“The ceiling on women playing tackle football was formally shattered with the arrival of LFL football in 2009… Inherently, [WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?] the LFL firmly believes that girls want to play football too.”

Kinda like Barcelona’s La Masia for young, talented soccer playing boys. Uh, no.

But, wait! Wait! In case you haven’t had your daily quota of Orwellian raunch culture sexist blather, there is more:

What excites us at the League is seeing the caliber of athletes improve so vastly each season, now imagine in five years when we start fielding athletes that have trained their entire life for the opportunity to play LFL Football’, said, Mitchell S. Mortaza, Founder & Chairman, Lingerie Football League, LLC.

When the LFL hooks up with Victoria’s Secret our 87 percent male Congress might finally find a reason to dedicate just one national holiday to the accomplishments of women in this country. (Remember, you read it here first.)

My question is, at what age exactly, as they go through the youth program, do our daughters have to strip down to their tensile strength skivvies? Thirteen? Fifteen? Last year, the adult women in the league, setting the groundwork for girls interested in this sport, got naked for the press, but not until after several of them posed for Playboy.

Hey, this seems like a super fun way to normalize stripper porn aesthetics and male dominance for girls and boys to me. Thousands attend these games and franchising opportunities abound. Why didn’t we think of this before?

And, if your daughter or even daughters (sisterly bonding over sports is always encouraged) want to learn how to play, there is a fantastic video of player’s butts that she can use to train. And, in case you want to make sure your daughter is no shrinking violet and don’t mind a little salacious, fist-flying, high-potential wardrobe malfunction, girl-on-girlness as a coaching tool… go for it!

Given the company’s devotion to girls’ development and the growth of women’s professional sports I am sure they will castigate some of their biggest fans for spreading rife untruths about girls and athleticism, like this editorial photo caption from Coed Magazine:

Watching chicks play sports is pretty painful, unless they’re wearing underwear and beating each other up. That’s why we love the Lingerie Football League — they know exactly what their audience wants. I know that sometimes watching girls throw an oblong ball can be a little difficult, but that’s why we’re focusing on what you really wanna see… the greatest butts in the league.

The players in this league are actually, really, phenomenal athletes. What are their choices? They have none: there aren’t other opportunities for adult women interested in professional football that match this one. Apparently, the price of playing is to accept your own objectification and sexualization and claim it as your own. Girl power! I’m sure these women are having fun. They’ve just bought into raunch culture’s appropriation and subversion of the language of female liberation and the definition of equality. We haven’t taught these women, because we don’t teach our children anything about gender and feminism.

Instead, we let mass culture with its promulgation of gender stereotypes in the service of profit, teach girls that for them being liberated, and sexually liberated, means having to imitate, or become, strippers and porn stars for someone else’s viewing pleasure: the male gaze. Sure, some women do it because they genuinely get a kick out of it, no pun intended, but most I would hazard a guess, do it because they get paid to and their choices are limited. And, I know that people have free choice and don’t have to take their kids to these games, sign them up to play, attend events, buy franchises. How many ways can we undermine our children? At some point societies actually do make decisions that change their cultures for long-term good. But first they have to be aware of what needs changing. We’re still like fish contemplating water.

Here are some words of wisdom for girls to think of and for boys to consider from women our culture would rather sweep under the rug:

“You think you’re being brave, you think you’re being sexy, you think you’re transcending feminism. But that’s bullshit.” — Susan Brownmiller
“Women’s liberation and empowerment are terms feminists started using to talk about casting off the limitations imposed upon women and demanding equality. We have perverted these words. The freedom to be sexually provocative or promiscuous is not enough freedom; it is not the only ‘women’s issue’ worth paying attention to. And we are not even free in the sexual arena. We have simply adopted a new norm, a new role to play: lusty, busty exhibitionist.” — Ariel Levy

“Being oppressed means the absence of choices.” — bell hooks

Girls are as terrifically athletic as boys, they are playing more sports and are interested in tackle football. But, they can play it clothed, like boys do. If you never read Ariel Levy’s Female Chauvinist Pigs and The Rise of Raunch Culture, pick up or down load a copy. If you did, dust it off and read it to your kids.

Photo Credit: Football Lingerie League

The mantel of hero has always been heavy. In the comics, Spiderman is told that with great power comes great responsibility. And even though the web-slinger might not be a real person, the advice rings true for our flesh-and-blood heroes, too. In these modern times, heroes come in a variety of forms built up by acts of bravery (like veterans) to acts of brawn (athletes) to the ability to influence power (politicians).

But no matter the path, when you become a hero, you have a great responsibility.

This is why it hurts so much when our heroes disappoint us, like the recent Penn State scandal rocking the college football world. Coach Joe Paterno and all the Penn State officials who covered up heinous acts of sexual abuse by Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky (he’s been indicted on 40 counts) were beyond wrong in their actions. And this is what has so many sports fans, including me, so pissed off. Paterno was a football hero — one of college’s most successful coaches! But because of that, we expected more from him. (Unless you’re a Penn State student, I guess, in which case raping kids is okay as long as your beloved coach isn’t fired…?)

There’s no doubt that the mantle of hero chafes at times.

Mythical heroes have spat in the eye of the gods. Politicians blow their power on something as simple as, well, a blow job. But to those heroes who whine that the cost of power, fame, fortune, and becoming role models is too high… Well, to those people I say: Suck it up!

Perhaps because of the power of fame and fortune, this is especially true of pro athletes. Unlike politicians, who muck around with (what some may consider) boring matters of state, or celebrities who might be famous for nothing — professional athletes are the anointed heroes. They often come with back stories that are the stuff of movies (sometimes literally) with tales of overcoming poverty, racism, broken homes, and a variety of other hard knocks. And most of all, athletes remind us of the human potential. They show us the human form in perfection. They dazzle us with their almost super-human abilities. And it’s thrilling drama.

These very humble origin stories make athletes intoxicating heroes. And that’s why they must be held accountable when they stumble or fall.

And we’ve seen that play out in almost every major sport:

• Football star Michael Vick‘s animal abuse
• Basketball star Kobe Bryant’s recent hate speech directed at a ref
• Baseball’s Mel Hall is currently serving a sentence of 45 years for rape and sexual assault
• (see a list of crimes by pro athletes across multiple sports here)

Surely, in huge professional sports clubs like the National Football League and the National Basketball Association, there will be a few bad apples or bad scenarios from time to time. What matters is how those events are handled. And whether it’s because of a sense of right and wrong or merely a glance at the bottom line, major sports franchises, players, and organizations are looking at the issues of hate speech, sexual assault, and even bullying with a critical eye. Earlier this year, NBA Commissioner David Stern said that professional athletes are role models and that hate speech cannot be tolerated.

The fact that professional sports organizations are publicly saying that hate speech is wrong is important. And meaningful. This is the responsibility part of being a hero.

This is why I am joining with parents and concerned members of our community in asking the Ultimate Fighting Championship to create a code of conduct for its staff and fighters. There is a list far too long — ranging from public appearances where non-English-speaking fans are coaxed into using anti-gay slurs to jokes about rape on twitter — of UFC fighters and management using hate speech, bullying and retaliation, and offensive misogynistic language. (By the way, what’s up with social media being used to disseminate hate speech and rape jokes?)

The UFC has grown tremendously in popularity in recent years and as such it is in a pivotal position to be a positive role model for thousands of fans, young and old. But if you want to be a legitimate sports organization, you have to act like a legitimate sports organization.

So, now’s the time to step up, UFC.

Is this a professional sports organization that is here to stay? Is UFC poised to become a leader in the community and a role model for kids? If so, it’s time to create a code of conduct. This is where your metal is tested. I am hopeful that Dana White’s recent remarks about gay UFC fighters coming out wasn’t just lip service but a positive sign of things to come. And Forrest Griffin’s apology for posting a rape joke to twitter is certainly a start (Anna North writes more about this over at Jezebel: apparently, Griffin has a history of tweeting such jokes.)

Do you have what it takes to be a real hero and take responsibility?

And on a personal note, let me just say that as a sports fan, a mother, and a member of the community, I hope the answer is yes. Because while UFC is getting attention from all over the world, it is also Las Vegas’ own homegrown sports organization. What you do reflects on all of us. And right now, you are giving us a black eye.

It’s time to do the right thing.

If you are looking for a way to support this cause, here are some ways you can get involved:

• Attend the press conference: 11 am, Saturday (Nov. 12) at UFC headquarters, 2960 W. Sahara Ave., Las Vegas
• Share this post!
• Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Use #Unfit4PrimeTime hashtag! (sample tweets below)
• Contact UFC and ask them to take responsibility
• Sign the petition!

Sample tweets (hashtag: #Unfit4PrimeTime):

*@UFC real #sports have a #codeofconduct and that real athletes don’t use #hatespeech and #rapejokes http://wp.me/p4ufM-Fz #Unfit4PrimeTime

*#rolemodels don’t use #hatespeech and #rapejokes. @UFCONFOX tell @UFC they need #codeofconduct http://wp.me/p4ufM-Fz #Unfit4PrimeTime

*@UFCONFOX No more #hatespeech! Legitimate #sports have civic responsibility. @UFC needs #codeofconduct http://wp.me/p4ufM-Fz #Unfit4PrimeTime

*@DanaWhite Major #sports require major leaders! @UFC needs #codeofconduct now! http://wp.me/p4ufM-Fz #hatespeech #Unfit4PrimeTime @UFConFox

*What do #NBA #NFL and #MLB have in common? #CodeofConduct Do the right thing @UFC http://wp.me/p4ufM-Fz #Unfit4PrimeTime @UFConFox

*With great power comes great responsibility, not #hatespeech. #CodeofConduct now for @UFC http://wp.me/p4ufM-Fz #Unfit4PrimeTime @UFConFox

To the Students of Penn State:

Something is really wrong here.

ƒWhile I did not attend a university with a football team, I respect that football is what makes your school tick, and that Mr. Paterno’s exceptional skills are necessary for the team’s success. You have every right to be angry that he will no longer be guiding your team to victory, or that your team may no longer have victory. But why aren’t you angrier about the fact that, under his watch, Mr. Sandusky was able to continue his actions of sexual assault?

I’m not blaming Mr. Paterno for Mr. Sandusky’s behavior. Mr. Sandusky is obviously a sick man who needs intense rehabilitation, jail time, and should not be allowed near children. But your anger is misdirected and you have shown the world that students at Penn State value a football team’s success more than the livelihood and safety of children in your community.

You have a right to be outraged. Your tuition was going to pay someone who had a pattern of sexual abuse and a slew of administrators who neglected to do anything about it to stop him. If that happened where I went to school, I’d, too, be pissed.

But why don’t you see the bigger picture? This isn’t about football. It’s about the fact that Mr. Paterno knew Mr. Sandusky was a danger to society, and only did the bare minimum to stop him. Mr. Paterno should have broken down the doors of the university president’s office and the police until someone put Mr. Sandusky behind bars. The board of the university recognizes this, and took measures to preserve the legacy and standing of the university. Why don’t you?

According to the New York Times, students were quoted as being embarrassed by this mess, but not embarrassed by the compliance with assault. “’It’s not fair…The board is an embarrassment to our school and a disservice to the student population,”’ one student said.

Interesting analysis, Future-Penn-State-Graduate-and –Leader-of-America (hopefully not). I always thought that a “disservice to the student population” might be more like allowing someone who assaults children to roam campus and host camps for kids on university grounds.

Penn State: I know, or have to believe to be able to sleep at night, that your entire student body doesn’t think this way, but, rather, this is just the image that is being conveyed on airwaves across the world. However, I have spent my entire life advocating the fact that our generation, today’s young people (ie you) are “the generation the world has been waiting for.”

Your actions last night, exhibiting your backwards values, show that the world can stand to wait longer for you. Your misdirected anger and your failure to show compassion for those whose lives were ruined from Mr. Sadunksy’s actions are a sure-sign that sexual assault will continue in our society until people like you care more about the safety and livelihood of women and children than success at a football game.

Sincerely,

Laiah (@laiahjo)

PS: The Onion, as always, says it best.

Photo Credit: The National Post

This piece originally appeared at Curls in the Capital, and is cross-posted with permission.

**TRIGGER WARNING for sexual assault and sexual abuse survivors**

Sometimes you don’t get any warning about bad news. When I turned on my TV this morning it was already tuned to ESPN and the story in progress was that of former Penn State Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky. In case you missed it, Sandusky, who is a celebrated football coach, is facing a 40-count indictment of inappropriate and criminal sexual contact (reportedly ranging from touching to rape) with eight boys over a period of 15 years before and after he retired from Penn State in 1999. It seems that the abuse incidents may have been during Sandusky’s overnight children’s camp, which was allowed to operate on different college campuses, including Penn State.

My stomach is turning.

As if that is not chilling enough, the story gets worse: It appears that at least some members of top Penn State administrative staff knew about Sandusky’s pattern of abuse and did nothing to stop it. In fact, they may have helped cover it up. In the report on Sports Center, investigators were quoted saying that on at least two occasions, janitorial staff witnessed sexual acts by Sandusky with one of the boys in the locker room showers. After one of those incidents, janitors did not report it for fear of losing their jobs. But in a second incident, they did report it and nothing happened. (Two Penn State have resigned and face perjury charges for lying to the grand jury.)

When I talk about the fear that survivors have about coming forward and telling their stories, this is exactly what I’m talking about. Not only is it a huge act of courage to overcome your shame and speak the truth, but on top of that you have to worry that you will not be believed. Or worse, that the truth will be swept under the rug and you may even face retribution from your abuser.

And here we have an even more egregious scenario: Someone tried to help at least one or more of those boys and NOBODY did anything to intervene.

If you sense that I am angry at this news, you are damn right I’m angry! As a survivor of sexual abuse, I take this very personally. But maybe even more so in this case because I, too, experienced a conspiracy of lies and cover-ups. People tried to help me and others moved to block that help. In my situation, my abuser was a well-known member of the community. Powerful people in the community liked him. So I get the fear of speaking out. And I’ve experienced first-hand what it’s like when people act to protect an abuser — rather than the abused. So, yeah, this news really pisses me off. I feel a kinship with those boys. I understand the helpless feeling that even if you were to reach out and cry for help, nobody would come.

That kind of silence can crush the spirit right out of your body.

And that is a fucking crime. It’s a crime against those boys. It’s a crime when it happens to any survivor. And it’s an indictment on a society that has the kind of fucked up “priorities” that put winning football games and making money (because winning college franchises make a boat-load of money for those schools and those college conferences) above the health and safety of people.

Look, I like football. In fact, I am a huge college football fan. So for me, this is not about vilifying football or sports. But we do have to ask the critical questions. We have to hold people accountable, even if it means facing things we don’t like to talk about or think about. Is being bowl game eligible really a justification for looking the other way on a pattern of years of abuse?

When do we say that enough’s enough? When is the price of silence too high?

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Fem2.0 is excited to introduce our newest blogger, Emmily Bristol to the team.  When Emmily became a mother last year — one of the oldest new moms on the playground — it made her work as a grassroots, pro-choice organizer and feminist blogger in Las Vegas all the more meaningful.  During her pregnancy, Emmily served as the lead plaintiff in a lawsuit against a personhood initiative in Nevada – a case they won. She received her degree from the University of Oregon and spent a decade as an award-winning, newspaper journalist.  Over the past few years, Emmily has started the feminist blogs The Sin City Siren and The Tired Feminist, and she soon thereafter left the traditional journalism world behind.   Emmily also serves on the board of the Nevada Coalition Against Sexual Violence, which is deeply important to her as a survivor of sexual violence.  Emmily tweets from @TheSinCitySiren.

Photo Credit: AP/Paul Vathis