Gail Galdwell writes, "I had a friend, and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too." The author shares with us the importance of her friendship with Caroline Knapp through the book "Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship" (via La Times).

Sometimes you have to take your future in your own hands and take care of yourself. This first novel by Nuala Ní Chonchúir, "You," tells the story of a “young girl who interprets the life she and her siblings inhabit in their urban Gothic surroundings with simple yet insightful prose” (via Feminist Review).

Events:

"On Thursday, September 8th the MacArthur award-winning playwright Sarah Ruhl’s adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s playful, gender-bending novel has its New York premiere at the Classic Stage Company in New York" (more info here).

The Barnard Center for Research for Women and the New York Women’s Foundation have organized “Critical Intersections: Reproductive and Economic Justice” in September (more info here).

The Spark Summit  (Sexualization Protest: Action, Resistance, Knowledge) is a day to speak out, push back on the sexualization of girls, and have fun while igniting a movement for girls’ rights to healthy sexuality. SPARK Summit is happening in October 22nd. Add it to your calendar (more info here).

Tweet This Post

You are growing up in a house with no mirrors.  That’s right, no mirrors.  But wait a sec, it’s not just your house!  As you venture out into the world, you discover there are no mirrors anywhere.  You can’t see what you look like and must rely on other people to tell you about yourself.  

You are growing up in a family, a church, a school, a community that corrects you every time you speak for yourself, even if it’s only an idea in development or a dream or a wish.  They know what’s best for you to undertake as well as what’s best for you to think.

You are confronted with this education and advice so pervasively that ultimately you don’t know what you think.  You can’t tell what you really feel or what you really want and you have no authentic connection to a sense of self or agency.  You might even be angry but you can’t be sure because you can’t feel your own feelings and, anyway, you’ve been taught that angry women are ugly and will end up as lonely spinsters.

You are growing up in a family where the policy for misbehaving is to whup all the children in the family no matter who may have misbehaved and no matter what the cause of the misbehavior.  When something goes awry, all the children get a whupping right there, together.  It’s a family ritual.  It seems to really cut down on the hijinks of those kids, alright.

You are a member of a losing team and nobody on the team can figure out why they keep losing.  How can this be?  The team members practice, practice, practice.  They are perfectionists, trying so hard to please their coach, their school, their parents!  They scrutinize their performance and themselves so harshly that the sport is no longer fun. Feeling like losers has taken over their lives and they’re so desperate they’re ready to settle for one win!  Just one!  Is that so much to ask?  But no, this is a jinxed team.  This team never wins.  As the losing seasons roll on, the teammates begin to silently and secretly hate themselves.  They would never admit it, but they hate each other, too. Somebody on the team has to be the culprit, the one responsible for losing every game.

Do you have a metaphor for Internalized Misogyny?  Share it here!

Tweet This Post

Success in Silicon Valley, most would agree, is more merit driven than almost any other place in the world. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what sex you are, what politics you support or what color you are….  Statistically speaking women have a huge advantage as entrepreneurs.

– Michael Arrington in TechCrunch

Privileged much? *

The lastest firestorm about women and entrepeneurship got kicked off by Shira Ovide’s excellent Wall Street Journal article Addressing the Lack of Women Running Tech Startups.  With some fine quotes from Rachel Sklar, Dina Kaplan, Yuli Ziv, and Fred Wilson, as well as solid discussion in the comments, I thought it was a great read.  But not everybody agreed.

Every damn time we have a conference we fret over how we can find women to fill speaking slots. We ask our friends and contacts for suggestions. We beg women to come and speak. Where do we end up? With about 10% of our speakers as women.

Oh please.  Fretting, asking, and begging isn’t a plan.

Yes, it’s hard.  Stop whining.  Take some responsibility.

Allyson Kapin’s Stop Playing the Blame Game, Ja-Nae Duane 5 Simple Ways to Help Women as Tech Leaders, and Jessica Wakeman’s 18 Reasons Your Company Might Be a Sausagefest all have some specific suggestions for Michael and TechCrunch — or anybody else who’s working on diversity.  Here’s my perspective.

If you really want to make progress, treat it the way you would any other business problem you take seriously. Set goals, put a plan together, hire good people to help you, and do some real outreach.  Work with organizations like Change The Ratio, Women Who Tech, Anita Borg Institute, GeekFeminism, BlogHer, Fem2pt0, TechMavens, Women 2.0, ASTIA and so on. Invite them to guest post regularly on TechCrunch.  Go to their events.  Pay a diversity consultant and invest in their recommendations.   Oh and while you’re at it please work on race, age, and other biases in TechCrunch and your other enterprises.

Or not.  It’s up to you, of course.  But if you ignore all this input and keep acting defensive, don’t expect people to see you as taking diversity seriously.

There’s plenty more privilege (along with some sexism and misogyny) in the comment thread.  More positively there’s some good stuff as well, including perspectives from Michelle Lee of Mamabread, Michelle Greer, LToTheWolf, Cindy Gallop of If We Ran the World, and many others.   Women and allies are underrepresented in the thread but more than holding their own     There’s also a brief appearance from Fred Wilson, and a great riposte by self-described angry feminist Millercan, who responds to a clueless comment about meritocracy with:

have been in tech (my guess) since before you were in kindergarten. i’ve been rewarded based on merit. but never as well as men who actually shipped shitty products, or took out 16 million organizations with narcissistic behavior.

There have been some excellent followup posts as well, including from  Cindy Gallop, Michelle Greer,  Jamelle Bouie, K. Tempest Bradford and Terri on Geek Feminism,  Eva Smith, Ivan Boothe, Laurie on Seldo.com, Alyson Shontel, Kay on Feministe, clarely on Mavenity, Helena Stone, Fred Wilson and Irin Carmon’s What Do “Where are the Women” Sh*tstorms Achieve? article in Jezebel.

That said, Arrington’s position has gotten some support, too. Here’s what the all-male team at Charles River Ventures has to say on Twitter:

I think of articles like this as a fascinating snapshot of how privilege, combined with the "guys talking to guys who talk about guys" cliquing behavior, leads to a remarkably convenient blind spot for Arrington — as well as a lot of his readers, and so many other privileged white guys.

At the same time, though, it’s also a great sign of the momentum that the women-in-technology networks and their allies are making.  The steady coverage in Fast Company, Mercury News, New York Times, Wall Street Journal and other high profile sites, along with the overwhelming evidence, increases the pressure on the “objective” defenders of the status quo.  It’s getting harder and harder to deny there’s a problem, and that the advantages moving ahead will go to those who address it most quickly.

So I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more “anxious masculinity under threat” blog posts.

Something to look forward to!

jon

* In fact, most don’t agree. Michael presumably knows the data that’s been published in TechCrunch and elsewhere about the superior performance of women-run startup. And yet less than 10% of the successes are by women. Unless you’re sexist enough to believe that women don’t want to run companies or are for some reason less qualified, there’s no way to reconcile this a belief that Silicon Valley is a meritocracy — let alone that women have systemic advantages.

Check out many insightful comments to Jon’s post here.

Tweet This Post

"Starting from the Scratch," the new book by Susan M. Gilber-Collins will make you laugh at some parts and weep in others. It’s a quick read but definitely worth it (via Feminist Review).

Lori Freedman is a sociologist and she wrote the book "Willing and Unable: Doctors’ Constraints in Abortion Care." Through this book, she “primarily wanted to find out what keeps physicians who feel positive about providing abortion from doing so.”  (via Feminist Review).

Events

Join  the Women’s Media Center, Women’s Campaign Forum Foundation, Political Parity, and Lake Research Partners online this Tuesday at 11am for the livestream of Name It. Change It. A national campaign to ensure accountability through a "coordinated rapid response network to dramatically decrease incidences of media misogyny directed at women running for elected office" (more info here).

Do you want to show your personal story behind these global targets? ViewChangeFilmContest.org is launching an online competition to find powerful new stories about the progress being made in achieving the United Nations Millennium Development Goals (MDGs). Don’t forget that the deadline for submission is August 31st (more info @ Association for Women Rights).

Women’s Voices from the muslim world. Women’s Voices Now (WVN) organizes a short-film festival to give voice to women of all faiths living in Muslim-majority countries and Muslim women living as minorities around the globe (more info at Association for Women Rights). 

Got an event coming up or a tip to share? Let us know!  

Tweet This Post

Why am I a young feminist?

• Because I will not give up my right to choose. And yes, I do think that right is in danger.
• Because I hate knowing how likely it is that I’ll have to choose between having a family and having a career.
• Because, even if I choose “career” (see bullet two), I know I’ll have to work harder and make less than my male colleagues.
• Because I do not accept that women deserve maltreatment and abuse simply because they are women.
• Because I don’t think that birth control is a “women’s” issue or safe sex shouldn’t be encouraged.
• Because it’s absurd to think that a woman cannot be trusted to make her own decisions.
• Because equality has not been achieved yet. And because I’m hopeful that it can be.
• Because there are women all over the world – who call themselves feminists, who call themselves something else, who just call themselves women or men or whatever they choose – who agree.

I’m comfortable calling myself a feminist and have been doing so for some time. But I understand the hesitation many young women have about publicizing their own feminist views by openly embracing the label. I find myself having to explain the word, over and over, to people who don’t think they understand it or agree (when they probably do!). I have to justify why I feel that, yes, feminism as a movement is still important – even in 2010. I have to explain why I don’t think Sarah Palin can call herself a feminist, and why women politicians deserve criticism from their female peers – no, just because you and I share a gender does not mean that I agree with your views, and I will not support you, regardless of your gender, if I feel that you’re holding women back or taking away their choices.

I’m comfortable asserting this online and (thankfully) at work. Here’s the rub, and something that, in the spirit of this blog carnival, I’ll admit even though I’m really not proud of it: in my personal life, I find myself keeping it quiet. "I’m Katie, and I’m a feminist" is not the first thing I’ll advertise when I meet someone new. When I hear friends make sexist or misogynistic statements or jokes, I catch myself – not always, but often enough – keeping quiet instead of piping up to point out what’s wrong with what they just said. I try not to go off on long rants about sexist politicians and celebrities at parties (this, however, is not always successful) and find it easier for everyone if I keep these opinions to myself. I put a lid on the frustration I feel when my mother preaches about abstinence and judges friends of mine who are living with their boyfriends or who are pregnant. When I don’t, it can seem like I’m putting someone down or being overly sensitive or bossy. It ruins the mood. It starts arguments. It makes people uncomfortable.

There are plenty of times when I don’t think I should have to start ranting away. During a movie, or when we’re watching TV? There are some obviously sexist, racist, discriminatory things on the screen – often expressed shamelessly. Wouldn’t my rants just be pointing out the obvious? Everyone else has to see the same things I do, don’t they? And jokes are just jokes – surely my friends don’t actually feel this way. Surely not all women want to be objects and want to play into stereotypes and outdated, sexist, cultural norms. Surely not all men want them to. Right? Please tell me I’m right.

But I’m not. And that’s the hard part – that’s where I’m not doing any favors for a movement I love, for a word and an idea that’s changed my life like it’s changed so many others. The little things count. My voice counts. And I shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to use it, even when it might not be "appropriate" or it might someone a little uncomfortable. When it brings the conversation to a dead halt. When it might make my mother nervously change the subject.

What does a feminist look like? Sometimes she’s passionate, opinionated and a little too quiet. So here’s my Women’s Equality Day resolution: to pipe up and say what I feel all the time. And I’d encourage you, young fems and everyone else struggling with this, to do the same. Seems so easy, but I’ll be the first to tell you that it takes guts. Mostly lungs.

Thank you, Fair and Feminist, for hosting the THIS IS WHAT A YOUNG FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE blog carnival today! Check out all the posts here and join in.

Tweet This Post

In her final year as California’s First Lady, Maria Shriver turns public attention to Alzheimer’s advocacy at her influential California Governor & First Lady’s Conference on Women.  Reflecting on an interview with Shriver, author and Feminist.com founder Marianne Schnall explores the personal stories and experiences behind Shriver’s decision.

For Maria Shriver, a passion for public service and activism comes naturally. She is the daughter of Sargent Shriver, a Democratic presidential candidate in 1972 and the first director of the Peace Corps, and Eunice Kennedy Shriver, the founder of the Special Olympics and sister of President John F. Kennedy and Senators Robert and Ted Kennedy.

She follows in esteemed footsteps, but Maria Shriver has become a trailblazer in her own right. She is an award-winning journalist and best-selling author. Assuming the mantle of California First Lady in 2003, when her husband Arnold Schwarzenegger became the state’s 38th governor, she took a leave from her job as a journalist for NBC News. Yet in her time away from a successful broadcasting career, Shriver has managed to transform the office of First Lady by approaching it not simply as a title, but as a powerful platform to make a difference, particularly in the lives of women.

Shriver has created several programs to empower and assist women throughout California under a banner called WE. Launched in 2003, the California Governor & First Lady’s Conference on Women has grown into one of the most influential women’s meetings in the world, attracting more than 30,000 attendees and more than 100 world opinion leaders. This year’s conference, from October 24 to 26 in Long Beach, will feature an eclectic lineup of journalists, entertainers and leaders that includes Mary J. Blige, Campbell Brown, Deepak Chopra, Linda Ellerbee, Sally Field, Jane Fonda, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Arianna Huffington,  Donna Karan, Billie Jean King, Matt Lauer, Robert Redford and Diane Sawyer.

For this year’s conference Shriver will incorporate another cause she cares deeply about, Alzheimer’s advocacy. Leading a March on Alzheimer’s and Candlelight Vigil on October 24, she hopes to raise funding and awareness about the debilitating disease, which currently affects over five million Americans. Shriver explains that she wanted to begin the conference with a focus on service “because I was raised by two incredible servants of the public good, and I’m passionate about women and families. I’m passionate about Alzheimer’s.”  The disease strikes an especially personal cord, as her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s seven years ago.  She says, “Back then I didn’t know really anything about the disease—I knew that President Reagan had been diagnosed, but that was really about all…. My brothers and I and my mother had no idea what our father would go through.” When she tried to gather information, she found “a very bleak and dark landscape out there—people didn’t talk about it.

So Shriver returned to her own journalistic instincts to create and share information and resources about the disease, beginning with writing the children’s book, What’s Happening to Grandpa? Says Shriver, “I had written two previous children’s books about issues that people found difficult to talk about [on dealing with death and mental disabilities]. And it was a way to really process for myself the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.”  Her children’s book led to“The Alzheimer’s Project,” a four-part documentary she produced on HBO in 2009 accompanied by a website, DVDs and printed materials. Shriver says that the documentary has become HBO’s “most successful and biggest television event ever with over nine million media impressions.” And she adds, “I think that was a big turning point for Alzheimer’s. It coincided with the increase in numbers and brought an issue out of what I would call the ‘dark room’ and into the living room.” In 2009, Shriver testified before the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging, offering advice to families and caregivers who are affected by Alzheimer’s.

Shriver calls Alzheimer’s a “mind blowing disease,” in every sense of the word. “To see somebody who might have been the smartest person you know, who might have been the best speaker you have ever laid eyes on, who might have had an illustrious career, and they look like that person—they’re walking around as that person—but they’re not that person, it really does blow your mind.”

The March on Alzheimer’s (at which Leeza Gibbons and Peter Gallagher will emcee and Jane Fonda, a WMC co-founder, will warm up marchers with stretching exercises) also allows Shriver to spotlight the connection between women and the disease.  “Seventy percent of the people who develop Alzheimer’s are women, and the vast majority of the people caring for people with Alzheimer’s—and mind you Parkinson’s, Huntington’s, stroke victims—are also women.” Coinciding with this year’s conference she will also be releasing The Shriver Report: A Woman’s Nation Takes On Alzheimer’s, which is a new installment following up last year’s groundbreaking study on women as half of U.S. workers, A Shriver Report: A Woman’s Nation Changes Everything.

Focusing this year’s report on Alzheimer’s reflects her belief that “this disease needs more money, more conversation, more adjustments by all of our leading institutions than perhaps any other in American life.”  The disease disproportionately affects women “not just as the person living with the disease, but women are the primary caretakers of the elder generation.” As both caregivers and patients, she says, “we need help! We need help from our businesses where we work, with flex hours. We need help from our government, which is the largest employer in the nation. We need to have a conversation and ask ‘where are our priorities?’”

For Shriver, it’s part of another important dialogue: a “national conversation about aging,” observing that “we don’t know, and particularly women don’t know—the right way to age.” She says, “We’re told what maybe we should wear in our fifties or sixties or seventies, but not how we should act, how our brains will work.” Shriver also believes that further studies of the brain are necessary, calling the mind “the new moon.” She adds, “If President Kennedy could launch a space program to explore space and land a man on the moon, we should be launching a program, to launch the clues, the answers, to the human brain.” The next frontier involves “how we think, how we remember, how we love, how we process information.” The answers to these questions, and to Alzheimer’s and many other diseases, “are inside the brain and the mind. I am interested in all of those subjects and how they interconnect.”

Shriver, who says she is also a big believer in “allowing people to change,” will be facing a major life transition herself when her husband leaves office at the end of the year and she ends her First Lady stint—though she will certainly continue to use her powerful voice to mobilize and inspire women. “The goal of the Women’s Conference, under my direction, has really been to empower women to be architects of change. If you want to be an architect of change by raising great kids, God bless. If you want to do it by raising money for your kid’s school, great. If you want to build a garden—whatever it is.”  She says, “Women like myself—they’re complicated, and they have a lot of different interests and qualities within them.” She adds, “Women somehow get portrayed as one type. You’re either a feminist or you’re not. You’re a working woman or you’re not. I’m raising two girls, and I say to them, ‘I need you to be strong and soft. You can be smart and beautiful…You can be all of these things.’ The more we give each other examples of that, the more honest we are with each other, the little bit easier it is to use your voice and step out.”

For more information on the March on Alzheimer’s and to register online, click here. To read Marianne Schnall’s extended interview with Maria Shriver, click here. The views expressed in this commentary are those of the author alone and do not represent WMC. WMC is a 501(c)(3) organization and does not endorse candidates.

Photo credits: TOP – TOO Right , Maria Shriver: a march and candlelight vigil to raise awareness about Alzheimer’s will begin her 2010 Women’s Conference.

Tweet This Post

Particularly relevant to the times: Eliza Griswold brings us "The Tenth Parallel," a book that describes “where Muslims and Christians drew lines in the sand" (via NY Time).

"The Gerbil Farmer’s Daughter" is a true story by Holly Robinson — one she didn’t always want to share. She emphasizes in the best way that “ there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ childhood.” (Feminist Review)

"Eat, Pray, Love" became a bestseller again (surprise!) for a second time since 2006. Of course, the movie based on the book explains this phenom. However, the book touches an interesting subject: how you can recover and try to rediscover your life after an "unsuccesful" marriage. Reviews of the book (and movie) have always been mixed, but we think it’s worth taking a read if you haven’t. If you’ve read it, what did you think? (via LA Times)

From Prem K. Bhandari: millions of women die each year from all kinds of deadly diseases. Learn what they are, how to spot them and how to best deal with the medical community about preventative and remedial treatments. (at Amazon)

Events:

On Thursday, August 26th, you can join the discussion, “Ain’t I a Woman: A Complicated Story of Women’s Suffrage in Black and White” at the William G. McGowan Theater at the National Archives. "To commemorate the 90th anniversary of the 19th Amendment granting women the right to vote, the Sewall-Belmont House & Museum has joined with the National Archives Experience and the National Park Service’s Mary McLeod Bethune Council House for a panel discussion on the women’s suffrage movement and its lasting impact on race and gender in the United States. The discussion will analyze the women’s rights movement through the unique, historic, and parallel perspectives of these historic houses and museums." Visit the Sewall-Belmont website for more details. (via the Younger Women’s Task Force).

One more interesting discussion and celebration for women. On Thursday August 26th, Women ‘s eNews invites you to Women’s Equality Day in New York City— the day in 1920 when women gained the right to vote in the United States—to talk about equality in politics and media. (more info at feministing.com)

Across the pond? Go and hang out the “Sidney Feminist Meet-Up." It’s a good chance for a good chat and picnic in the Victoria Park. (more info at feministing.com).

Got an event coming up or a tip to share? Let us know! 

Tweet This Post

The Hilton Hotel in New York City was packed on August 6th and 7th with 2400 attendees who had come for the 6th Annual BlogHer Conference.  The last time I had been in the Grand Ballroom was to see Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama onstage, for a post-convention unity event.  Ironically, it was the divisive politics of the 2008 election that pushed greater numbers of women into the blogosphere, as they clamored to make their opinions heard.

That same year, the New York Times covered the San Francisco BlogHer conference with a story—on their fashion page—that had a tinge of snark.  Now, in 2010, no one doubts the influence or economic muscle of women online.  Anyone who remains unconvinced needed only to navigate the exhibition hall lined with 100 sponsors (a 50 percent increase over last year). Natural and green items, kids products, and an array of services all shared the floor.  From the smaller supporting sponsors like thredUp (a children’s clothing exchange) to the ranks of the top “Diamond” brands such as Pepsico and Procter and Gamble, the message was clear.  Women have clout to be reckoned with. As consumers—they are able to drive purchasing dollars.

When I asked a number of the corporate reps why they had chosen to be present at BlogHer, their answers all echoed the same mantra.  Amy Goodman, Fashion Trend Director at Timex said, “We’re working to make more connections in the blogosphere and to provide content opportunities.” Their booth was devoted to the company’s Fall line of watches.  Anne Westbrook, handling External Relations for Procter and Gamble, told me that P&G was back at BlogHer for its second year.  “We’re here because women bloggers are major influences.  We want to talk with them on their terms and bring them opportunities and relevant content.” In their large, house-styled booth was a full range of brands from CoverGirl to Bounty. I gravitated to the demonstration of their project, "Clean Water Blogivation." The social media campaign was designed to “showcase the power of female bloggers to improve the lives of people in need of clean drinking water,” and to enable “women bloggers to be part of the clean water solution.”

PepsiCo chose the BlogHer conference to roll out their new women’s platform, "Women, the 5G Network." A “Sofa Summit” breakfast early on Saturday featured top female brass from the PepsiCo team in dialogue with Campbell Brown. I contacted Jamie Stein, Director of Communications for Tropicana and the point person on PepsiCo’s online women’s initiatives, for a comment on their interest in the women’s blogging sector.  She replied via e-mail, “Women are, and have always been, incredibly influential on social issues, in business and at home with their friends and families. Now, with connectivity, women are wielding even greater power. As a company, we want to help enable the change women see, through innovative platforms like our 5G Network online channel and interactive experiences at events like BlogHer.”

On the lookout for socially conscious business tie-ins, I learned that Liberty Mutual was onsite to familiarize women with their mission, "The Responsibility Project"—exploring what it means to do the right thing.”  Paul Alexander, the Senior VP of Communications, walked me through the company’s profile and its commitment to the “culture and values of integrity, dignity, and respect.”

Whether in the exhibition hall or over lunch, I saw a lot of action. Connections were being made. Women had come to learn, build their brands, and be energized.  Eyeballing the crowd, I saw moms with babies in strollers or on their backs (yes, there was a place to breastfeed) and a wide range of ages.  Elisa Camahort Page, BlogHer’s co-founder and COO, explained to me in an e-mail that one of the hallmarks of their events is diversity.  Regarding the speaker roster she wrote, “One third of our speakers were women of color, a slight improvement over last year.  We also ensure that we bring both liberal and conservative voices, LGBT voices, mom and non-mom voices to the microphone.”

The keynotes and panels delivered.  With forty-two sessions divided into seven verticals (change agents; passion; personal; professional; geek lab; writing lab; job lab), participants could be heard lamenting the difficulty of having to choose among topics.

“The FTC Guidelines: After a Year, Has Anything Changed,” had a room full of people trying to get a handle on the Endorsement Guidelines that were put in place to insure that “no deception in advertising” occurred on blogs. Top advice included being transparent, explaining connections to advertisers, and keeping disclosures in close proximity to the content.  One fundamental boiled down to, “When you get a product or cash, you must disclose; when you are not compensated, you don’t.”  Stacey Ferguson, Senior Attorney in the FTC’s Division of Advertising Practices, suggested the safest approach—“When in doubt, disclose.”

At “Creating Tangible Social Change: How to Move People to Action,” led by Women and Hollywood’s Melissa

Silverstein, each panelist described how they were impacting specific communities.  Beth Terry, writing at Fake Plastic Fish, blogs about “living life with less plastic.” Terry discussed how her writing had helped to revise the plastic filter recycling policies of Britta in the United States.  Stephanie Himel-Nelson, the Director of New Media at Blue Star Families, outlined how the organization’s blog—dedicated to supporting and empowering military families—was becoming a go-to resource.  The biggest laugh lines went to Gina McCauley.  The founder of two blogs, What About Our Daughters and Michelle Obama Watch, she is also the organizer of the Blogging While Brown conference, the first conference for bloggers of color.  Answering a question on how she handles personal attacks and negative feedback, McCauley responded, “I’ve built up a lot of scar tissue and taken a lot of body blows.”  On dealing with trolls she advised, “Don’t engage with people on platforms you don’t control.” She added, “She who pays the hosting fees makes the rules!”  All the speakers emphasized that an “authentic voice” was more potent than stats on page views or the number of Twitter followers.  McCauley pointed to one of her most valuable realizations from the blogging experience saying, “It brought out the reality that my ideas matter.”

Saturday’s morning keynote featured the International Activist Blogger Recipients. They were Esra’a Al Shafei, the founder of Mideast Youth; Dushiyanthini Pillai, the force behind Humanity Ashore; Marie Trigona, who publishes Latin American Activism; Freshta Basij-Rasikh, who contributes to the Afghan Women’s Writing Project. It was a dynamic and moving presentation. The focal points of their respective blogs included bringing together young people in the Mideast region, human rights, war and landmine victims, the 30,000 who disappeared in Argentina during the 70s and 80s, and developing a platform for Afghan women to tell their stories.  Underscoring the importance of global issues widened the perspective of the conference. It also made it impossible to ignore the risks being taken by these bloggers, a contrast to the secure setting of the BlogHer event.

Immediately afterwards, I attended “Radical Blogging Moms: Don’t Even Think of Not Taking These Moms Seriously.”  Joanne Bamberger (PunditMom) moderated.  Stephanie Roberts spoke about her photographic and digital documentary work.  Annie Urban discussed how her anger had pushed her to become politicized.  At her blog, PhDinParenting, Urban has been an outspoken critic of the Nestlē Corporation for "unethical business practices."  Urban uses stories to explain a situation, rather than “prescribing or instructing.” She shared an interesting anecdote about how the legal firm employed by Nestlē had been scrutinizing her blog.

A number of women in attendance entered the blogosphere in response to family concerns, personal challenges, or the need to reach out and build a support system.  I met and spoke with Ellen Seidman, a magazine editor who writes “Love That Max—A blog about kids with special needs (and the parents who adore them).”  There was a panel on “Blogging Autism: Shattering Myths, Opening Eyes and Finding Your Tribe” and one entitled “Grief, Loss, Tragedy and Community on the Internet.”

The closing keynote was “How to Use Your Voice, Your Platform and Your Power.”  Alison Stewart helmed the dialogue with The White House Project founder and president Marie Wilson, author and activist Gloria Feldt, and journalist P. Simran Sethi. The participants parsed the question of power. Earlier, the audience had been

reminded that in 2009, BlogHer placed #4 on Katie Couric’s list of the “seven most powerful people in media”.  The prevalent question was how to best leverage the power of women in the blogosphere—which was characterized as “the great equalizer.”  With the democratization of the media, Simran Sethi asked, “How do you want to use your voice?”  Wilson stressed the importance of women running for office and becoming part of government.  Feldt, who has a book coming out on “how women can change the way they think about power,” insisted that women have more of it than they realize.  She noted that corporate sponsors were “finally getting the picture,” but questioned if women understood the full import of what that entailed.  When I contacted her for additional thoughts on this concern she wrote me, “The two floors full of exhibitors aren’t here just because they love us. They’re here because they know the power of women’s collective purse.  So we need to use that power intentionally and collectively to shape the consumer market, to get what we want—whether it’s healthy snacks for our kids, green products, or shoes that are comfortable rather than hobbling us—and not allow ourselves to be bought.”

Before taking questions from those sitting at tables in the ballroom, Stewart asked each woman to speak about their own most difficult moments.  A roar of laughter greeted Wilson’s comment, “Behind every success is years of crap.”  Listening to women from the audience, it was clear that a sense of validation was achieved from their blogging contributions. One woman reveled in the realization that online, she was understood. “Wow,” she exclaimed, “You get me!”  Another participant thanked the speakers and the conference planners for “lighting candles in the darkness.

Whether a woman was reaching out to build a community of mothers, dish on beauty and style, reflect a political agenda, or explore a lifestyle choice, it was clear that the BlogHer’10 demographic had a wide range of interests.

The general consensus was that once you were out there, pushback would be inevitable.  The response to that fact was the same…at every session across the board:  “Stand your ground and keep writing.”

Photo credits: TOP – TOO Left by Justin Hackworth for BlogHer; IN THE MIDDLE TOO Right by Trevor Christensen, BOTTOM- TOO Left by Justin Hackworth for BlogHer

Tweet This Post

A book full of feminine energy! "Moonrise: The Power of Women Leading from the heart" The book is a collection of essays edited by Nina Simons with Anneke Campbell (via Feminist Review).

How we can bridge the gap between two different worlds: Western students and Eastern teachers? Wise Teacher, Wise Student: Tibetan approaches to a Healthy Relationship, a new book by Alexander Berzin, tries to give us the answer (via Feminist Review).

The singer and songwriter Rosanne Cash is the writer of "Composed," the book that explains to us how she grew up with and without her father Johnny Cash and about how she finally became a gifted artist in her own right without the shadow of her father (via NY Times).

Events:

Is there something unique and powerful about the managerial style of women?  On Wednesday, August 18, @ 6:30pm the Younger Women’s Task Force in Washington D.C. organizes "The Effect of Women in Management: A Discussion with Dr. Cristian Deszo" (more info).

Are you participating in the Susan B. Anthony 5k in California this weekend? (via Feminist. org)

Also in DC, tomorrow from 9.30am-6.00pm go out to help the District Alliance for Safe Housing (DASH) decorate their new housing resource for domestic abuse survivors, the Cornerstone Residence. Take a morning or afternoon shift to help with hanging curtains, making beds, stocking kitchens and bathrooms, and other tasks to get apartments ready for residents! Come with friends!  To sign up for a shift or get more information, contact Miranda at 202-726-3274 or mvargas@dashdc.org (via YWTF).

Nationwide: get geared up for Women’s Equality Day on August 26! (via Feminist.org)

Got an event coming up or a tip to share? Let us know! 

Tweet This Post

This summer, Hanna Rosin warned readers of The Atlantic that the apocalypse was nigh — for boys, at least. In an article provocatively titled The End Of Men, Rosin used the increasing preponderance of women in higher education and the low rungs of our recession-impacted workforce (as well as their somewhat disproportionate success at elementary and secondary schools) to argue that feminism had failed boys, who would eventually find themselves the second sex. And it wasn’t hard to find plenty of people who agreed with her.

But, then, it wouldn’t be: a recent flip through literature shows that she has lots of fellow travelers. From Christina Hoff Summers to Kathleen Parker, around talk radio and into the blogosphere, statistics showing that boys aren’t competing as well in schools as their female counterparts have led to much soul-searching and many calls for school reforms to take into account boys’ delicate constitutions, development inferiorities and special natures to make sure they don’t continue to fall so far behind the hearty, mature and overachieving female counterparts.

The way people have been going on of late about how everything from schools to colleges to the modern workforce is failing men, one would almost think they were about to be prohibited from the majority of colleges, provided an inferior education before that, barred from most work environments, encouraged (to put it nicely) to keep a nice home for their wives and stay home with children to the detriment of their careers.

Sad Plight of Male Subordination

In fact, you’d think they were being taught to make themselves inoffensive and pretty in order to attract the best wife to take care of them, to not speak before being spoken to and to never dream any further than their front doors and a bright future for the daughters they would deliver unto a society awaiting a new generation of leaders. In the dark corners of the blogosphere even those men in this dark age of an encroaching matriarchy who have achieved a modicum of political or economic power are subject to disparaging comments about their looks (and how either the lack or preponderance thereof makes them unfit to wield power), speculation about the lineage of their apparent progeny and accusations that their feeble minds either leave them too open to feminine influence or simply don’t prepare them to wield power.

Oh, wait. While science fiction has given us books like that before — Turning on the Girls by Cheryl Benard springs to mind — but then it’s only 2010 and doesn’t resemble the gender status quo into which I was born.

It’s hardly a difficult environment for men to gain money, power or status (let alone at greater rates than women). Last I checked – and I’ve checked a lot — while the numbers of men and women in the labor force are about to reach parity and the unemployment rate among women is lower than men, the overall participation rates remain vastly dissimilar. That is to say, in June 2010, 73 percent of men 20 years and older were considered part of the labor market, and only 60.3 percent of women

There’s still a decent-sized pay gap – both in terms of current pay and especially with regard to lifetime earnings — between men and women. To say that women are woefully underrepresented in elected political office in the United States is to laughably underestimate how far behind they are compared to the rest of the world.

And taking race and sexual orientation and gender identity into account only adds to the difference, making it ever more clear that our society’s most powerful people are disproportionately white, male, straight, cisgender and, of course, already wealthy.

Paying a Terrible Price for Nondiscrimination

Almost 40 years ago, Congress passed Title IX to eliminate discrimination in educational institutions based on sex — although it’s now better known for its role on gendered athletics (a development that emerged as part of the regulatory process and then was enshrined in law due to NCAA attempts to try to get its members out of the regulation), Title IX is technically the law that protects women and men from discrimination in schools.

No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance…

Heady stuff — as was the fact that such a law was necessary in 1972, only five years before I was born.

Of course, it was also passed seven years after my mother, now a computer programmer, graduated from high school. In those days, my mother — who loved math — was overtly told by her high school guidance counselor that she’d never succeed and faced teachers more concerned with keeping her down than helping her learn.

In those days, no one talked of reforming the ways that schools operated, writ large, to help women; they talked of eliminating both overt, personal discrimination against women and girls, and of eliminating institutional discrimination, such as guidance counselors whose mandates helped steer men to Harvard and women to Vassar. The idea behind Title IX was that, absent overt discrimination or practices that innately privileged men, women could succeed at higher rates.

And, whoa, could they ever. Less than 40 years in, and women make up almost two-thirds of this country’s college students; they are rapidly taking over medical and law schools; they seemingly love to get professional degrees. Colleges are stuck practically giving high school boys points in the admissions process just for being boys in order to prevent a wholesale takeover of the university system by women. Absent discrimination, the age-old triumvirate of grades-SATs-extracurriculars that privileged men four (and three, and two,) decades ago now works in women’s favor.

Then, of course, the hue and cry! Boys aren’t ready for the rigors of school! They need time! They need special attention! Boys need to be boys, the critics of feminine hegemony say, and the matriarchy makes them just sit there for hours trying to learn things as women raise their hands and — gasp — get called on in equal numbers! Why, the new SATs – now somewhat more rigorously redesigned to try to remove traces of class and gender privilege — are just too hard! Why, it looks just like when you take out the discrimination from the system in large part, girls do better! It’s time for reform! Or else women might take over the world!

And yet, primary and secondary education has been stultifying since its introduction. Rows of students made to sit for hours on end, lectures, memorization, regurgitation, quiet contemplation — for years, boys were able to make the most of it and come out lionized as Great Men. Now that women have mastered the formula and law has stamped out the most overt forms of discrimination, the rapid rise of women seemingly puts the defenders of men ill at ease.

And the First Shall be Last?

What is it, really, that’s so bothersome? For generations, women’s lack of advancement in post-secondary education and the workplace bothered few people, in large part because women’s intellectual and professional achievements were secondary to their agreed-upon roles in society: wife and mother. Getting and using education were nice things, and helped garner a higher-status marriage partner, but it was secondary to a woman’s real role in society. Not having an education didn’t make one a lesser wife or mother — and readers of The Feminine Mystique might venture to guess that it, in fact, had the potential to cause less dissatisfaction.

But, when it comes to men having less educational attainment than women — due to supposed "natural" factors like boisterousness or an inability to focus in school — it’s a national crisis worthy of serious consideration. Why? Because, of course, men aren’t expected to stay home with children and keep homes for their wives. Men aren’t expected to sacrifice their educational or professional achievements on the altars of their wives’ careers. Men aren’t expected to compete for powerful women’s affections on the basis of their external attractiveness (for all that there are cougars in pop culture, there are rarely trophy husbands) or suitableness to the spouse role.

In fact, all of this hue and cry about how hard it is for men to keep up reveals that the expected roles of men and women outside the labor force haven’t really changed … and that few people want them to. Adults expect that girls will want equally hard-charging partners in their own adulthood, and that things like childcare and high-powered career maintenance — despite all the evidence that many CEO-like careers all but still require a career spouse — will work themselves out later (and, in all likelihood, still fall to the woman — or to lower-status women of color). And if boys can’t keep up, and gender roles outside the workplace remain stagnant, both those boys and girls will suffer.

I’ll give the critics like Rosin and Parker, who see female educational and professional achievement coming solely at the expense of the men who seemingly deserve it, one thing: it is probably easier to remake the public educational system of the United States from one based on equality of opportunity to one based on the equality of outcomes than it is to change society’s ingrained views that women need men of equal or better educational attainment and earning power to be happy.

But let’s no longer pretend that it’s for the sake of women’s emotional happiness: critics are doing it for the boys, and to regain the status quo in which men just don’t have to work as hard as women to get ahead. Given equal opportunities, it seems, women do better than men quite often: rather than letting men learn to compete, runs the argument, we ought to change the rules of the game to let them win more. That sounds a lot like the discriminatory system we worked to change, actually.

–

Megan Carpentier is an Associate Editor at Talking Points Memo and freelance writer whose work has been published by The Guardian, Bitch, RHRealityCheck.com, Women’s eNews, the Women’s Media Center and Ms. Magazine, among other places. She was previously the editor of news and politics at Air America and an editor at Jezebel.com

Photo credits: TOP – TOO Left by Roz Dimon; BOTTOM  left Kathleen Migliore-Newton

Tweet This Post